Peer Review by One Shot (United States)

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She tells lies

By: ~wildflower~


FREE WRITING

She is as readable as an open book,
emotions rolling by like stormlcouds on the wind,
each one stark and intense and refusing to be dimmed.
Fuelled by the smouldering ashes of severed hope 
burning deep within that look,
they demand attention and stain the sky,
Yet even the words of an open book
can tell
lies.

Her shoulders slump so low
that they brush the ground
and her gaze contains oceans dried to salt
But I cannot tell,
If that ocean’s really a well,
and I’m about to fall to its hidden assault.
She pleads with that pitiful glint in her eyes,
But I cannot tell if it’s just a disguise,
If that gaze, that flashlight, is blinding my true sight.

She moans and she pleads,
she cries of betrayed needs,
yet even with that look of pure despair
she can tell
lies
beyond my recognition
or repair.

This was inspired by the look my dog gives me when she wants me to take her for a walk. I know - it’s very exaggerated. I just went all out spiralling through descriptions. I hope I didn’t take it too far...

Peer Review

Everything! I love the dark subtleness to the poem, it's very exact and to the point


What inspired you to write this peice?


Reviewer Comments

You're my type of person! I'm a little start-struck lol. This piece is beautiful! It's simple but complex all at the same time; while providing a hint of suspense. You've got great work here and you'll do big things!