Doodleninja

United States

pfp is Thinker & Prose from my series "Stereo Tropes Co."!

Christian
INFx-T

Full-time doodler
Comic artist
Hardcore Introvert
social anxiety gang
Mexipina
Obsessed with music
Homeschool squad, yeah!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Message from Writer

"You write so beautifully. Your mind must be a terrible place."
Always on the lookout for tragic backstories and broken characters. :D

I've got an ongoing series called Stereo Tropes Co.! Where story tropes run amuck!
Search up "Stereo Tropes Co." to find the pieces.
If you want to read them in order, follow the numbers in the titles :)

ticking, ticking | #varmebolger

May 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

5
There's a bomb underneath the surface of my mind
Hidden, but ticking, in monotonous time
My mind's eye can't decipher what it reads
But it's ticking
It's ticking
It plants a seed

There's a seed growing in the soil of my brain
Watered by worries, by the fears in my veins
The blossom will consume me, but I can't stop
It's growing
It's growing
'Till it blooms through the top

There's a Venus flytrap perched on my head
Snapping up positives, leaving lies instead
I'm awaiting the day when they'll see the atrocity
I'm waiting
I'm waiting
For them to see my monstrosity

Monstrosities lurk in the cavities of my skull
Whispering fibs until I'm trapped in their lull
"They see you, they judge you, they'll hate you one day"
I'm scared
I'm scared
And I still stay away

My thoughts are my enemies, my sins only add fuel
To the engine, churning, but I keep my cool
Because what would they think, it's all about them
Get out
GET OUT
GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Not today, Satan
I know who I am

...

But the bomb keeps ticking
The seed grows on
There's this lingering sense
Of a social Armageddon 

C4 awaits to explode through my mouth
And for me to slip up, for it all to head south

Is it ever going to blow?
When will it come?
It's coming for me
It's coming
I'm hiding 
I'm hiding

It's ticking

It's ticking
social anxiety is not fun 
But that's why the world needs Jesus :D
Side note: for however mainstream and slightly overplayed "Dear Evan Hansen" is, the writers nail the portrayal of social anxiety. Props to them *claps* (it's a great musical)

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2 Comments
  • ElsaRee

    Wow!


    7 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    I know the soundtrack of Dear Evan Hansen better than I know my abc’s! That soundtrack is just everything. I’ve never actually seen the musical though... but I’d like to! In other news, this piece has such a dramatic climax, especially notable from the lack of commas, full stops etc because it makes the pace of the piece so fast that when reading it you’re almost left feeling the need to take a breath! I don’t really get social anxiety too bad so I’m not an expert or anything but I think that that effect of feeling breathless when reading it mirrors what social anxiety/panic attacks are like? So that’s really clever! Just remember to breathe every now and then! You’re doing okay! And if you’re not doing okay, you will eventually! Just breathe :)


    7 months ago