birthdaycandles

Ireland

birthdaybaubles #holidayvibes

Just an 18 yr old aspiring to be something like a living, walking (and writing) hug

Things close to my heart:
God, my family + climate change

-Joined Sept 2019, active since March 2020-
prev. AutumnRain

Message to Readers

I'm a bit unsure about the title. I couldn't really think of anything else. Let me know what you think and I 'll see if I can improve it.

Looks like Love #rollthedice_4

May 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

12

His eyes were on her cracked lips when she spoke
Every word from them he depended on like pure O2
Her silver finery that hung around her neck made her skin look tarnished
But all he saw was the spot on her neck that he kissed 2 days, 7 hours and 43 minutes ago
He could smell the stench of alcohol on her breath
Yet he got her toothbrush and brushed her teeth holding her head up whilst he did
She screamed, wailed and shouted fiercely about her ex, and her 'friends'
All while he nodded sympathetically, dabbing a makeup wipe gently to her face
Hair comparable with a birds nest, frizzy, messy curls and flyaway hairs everywhere
Though he said nothing but smiled when he lifted a twig out of her hair
Her face lost all life and emotion when she slept on the sofa, 
However he only saw a face he loved, and planted a velvet kiss on her forehead as she dreamt.


 
Writing about romance isn't always my forte, but I decided to give this a go.
I rolled the die and got:
1: velvet
5: finery
6: lips
for Prompt 4 of elliemcul's competition 

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  • May 16, 2020 - 11:55am (Now Viewing)

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10 Comments
  • Charisse Marison

    Wow. Just...wow. I'm speechless. This is so beautiful. Absolutely wonderful <3
    Also, both our profile pics are Lady and the Tramp :D An underrated GEM


    7 months ago
  • delete

    This is just beautiful and emotional. Your language is so delicate and sensitive, presenting the girlfriend character as fragile and broken, seemingly to mask this with alcohol and other bad things that makes her seem worse. We feel sympathy for her as the reader and root for the narrator, who helps her out, treats her like the human being she really is but doesn’t feel like. That’s love and that’s what romance is all about.


    7 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    I just published more of soulmates and angels :) I hope you enjoy it :)


    7 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    I loved this! If you have time please check out my new series soulmates and angels :)


    7 months ago
  • joella

    I love that you showcased this side of romance; it's a really sweet read. repeating what everyone else said but I can't believe you don't think romance is your forte! this is amazing!


    7 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    yo I love the imagery in this! I don't even know what I would've written with those prompts XD

    replying: YES Dear Evan Hansen is AMAZING! "Waving Through a Window" is my absolute fave. Yes, I've always told myself to "just breathe" and it is very good advice. :)


    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: He sure is! We're both theatre kids, but he sure takes the drama into everyday life XD. He's rather... extravagant? There isn't really a word for it lol.


    7 months ago
  • Ruthh

    This is so good!! The way you’ve blended the different prompts of the dice in to it are really clever!


    7 months ago
  • elliem

    This is so adorable! What do you mean, "romance isn't my forte"? I think you did really well! Thanks for entering! :) <3


    7 months ago
  • sunny.v

    “writing about romance isn’t my forte” nonsense! this was an interesting read! though i do agree haha romance is never quite so pretty when i try to write it. i always end up writing it oddly. but anyways my favorite line is “ He could smell the stench of alcohol on her breath ”! i can really picture it and it’s a pretty good line that gives us an idea of what’s going on! nice job!


    7 months ago