joella

United States

she/her | high school | wasian | enfp

"i breathe color into deflated lungs, a latex fairy godmother"

formerly ★ white mountains ★

Message to Readers

this is what it felt like sometimes
dug all the way back to ages five and six for this piece

this possibly isn't coherent because I'm exhausted so I'll probably take it down in the morning
but feedback still more than welcome

the colder side of juvenescence

May 14, 2020

FREE WRITING

5
shh shh sit tight lil one    you gotta stop asking questions    can't you just sit still hold your horses whoa girl   yes yes i know you're not a dog or a pony    chatter chatter chatter you never stop talking   listen and silent are made of the same letters ever heard of that   you learn the most with your mouth shut and your eyes open   the world is not a stage with a spotlight on you and your curiosity   welcome to real life sweets we got dishes to do and dinner to make   nobody got time for your prattle   you ripped a magazine as a toddler to give to your imaginary friend as a get-well present    the whole extended family can name every single one  i called the principal and she says if she sees you walking around with a book through the hallways instead of watching your step she'll take it away   you got bullied for reading at recess oh honey go play next time

but i want to know   why you talking to me like i'm your pet   yes i hear everything you tell me sir you drill it into my brain   but i won't learn if i can't ask   you say there's a time and place for everything but then when's the right time to do what i want instead of what you want   my world is real to me   she did take away my book she embarrassed me in front of my friends   yes i have friends   they told me i was too little to read chapter books so i stood up for myself   why do you tell me to listen to my teachers if you never listen to me

you can't talk to adults like you're their equal or their friend you're not   honey you're smart but you need to put in effort why did the teacher call and say you didn't do your homework   your locker is a mess   the baby likes your sister better because you don't play with her you're buried in your books   you could read at age three but your couldn't hop on one foot until months later   

i don't want to be in the special math class the teacher's mean   i want miss rabinowitz i like the regular class   it's hard for me to focus and keep track of my stuff sometimes   i don't do things wrong on purpose why would i    when i read and write and dream in my head i feel more alive then when i'm sitting at a wooden desk bursting out of myself   the people i love the most are the people that understand what it's like to be me   or if they don't at least they try    that's what really counts

i understand you completely honey    better than you know yourself   i was just like you as a kid

i know i know i know

good

Print

See History
  • May 14, 2020 - 12:59am (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

8 Comments
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Don't take this personally, but I probably shouldn't name my school here.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: In My Dreams is my favorite song, but the dynamic between Christy Altomare and the amazing Derek Klena in In a Crowd of Thousands is lovely.
    My school gives you the option to take some, all, or no classes at the center, and the rest are at home.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Oh, and my dream role was Winnie in Tuck Everlasting, but she's 11 and I'm almost 16, so I had to switch to Anastasia (which is also awesome).


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: My school is super cool. It's a charter for personalized learning, so it's dedicated to adapting for each student.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Yeah, it's a field trip. We're gonna do basic tourist things, but the real reason I want (need) to go is to see Broadway IN NYC. It's not canceled, just postponed, but idk what the seniors who were planning on going are gonna do. They'll get "coupons" or whatever too, but are they going to have to go by themselves now? I hope they're allowed to come.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: I'm so jealous I'm gonna cry. Jk jk I'm just being dramatic lol. I've never been able to see a Broadway show, but I've always dreamed of it. We had a field trip to Boston and NYC that included one (so...much... fundraising), but that got postponed until next year.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    wow this really was like looking through the mind of a kid...very whirlwind-y and jumbled in a nice way, if that makes sense! great job as always, i really liked it :D


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Yay I'm so glad you love the song!! Wait you can just go see a Broadway musical whenever you want??? Give me all your money, this is a hold up by a desperate theatre kid!!!


    5 months ago