she’s-got-a-story

United States

ghost town

i tried to tell about the night... and i could not tell it; as i cannot tell it now.
-hemingway

i know i’m bound to lose / when i feel the need to use why i’m full
-wallows, i’m full

Message to Readers

inspired by a real conversation

confession

May 13, 2020

FREE WRITING

14

on wednesday night we sat how we liked it: hidden in black-sheathed boxes, separated by iron grate. i whispered to the priest, here's what i have done. what i am doing.
he said, whenever i starve myself, i call it fasting. have you tried spending all day in prayer? 
pray, i said. for everything but nourishment. dear god, i pray. please make me a whitewahsed tomb. 
when was the last time you took communion? he asked. i could see his eyes through the grate. even in the darkness they shone like glassy beads. we were dead men; empty, yet stuffed. taxidermied in our places. specimens pinned to our pews. 
the body of christ is highly caloric, i said. it's been a while. 
how will the holy spirit fill you? he asked me, like he was asking himself. the light of votive candles was the only thing that moved. 
i don't know, i said. 
it's hard, he said, when you just don't want to be full. 
do you remember? he asked, even though he knew i did. the last supper?
this is my body, i recited. broken for you. 
this is my body.
this is my body.

this is my body.
our penance was dining, so we went unforgiven. 

matthew 23:27
"woe to you... you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but are full of dead men's bones."

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  • May 13, 2020 - 10:57am (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • Charisse Marison

    This is gorgeous and I love the religiousness. I really hope you are doing alright and that you get some sort of nourishment <3


    4 months ago
  • Anha

    the way i forgot to bookmark this for later is criminal - the way you weave religious imagery into this piece is exquisite, and hasn't italics always been better than quotation marks? (i certainly think so.)


    4 months ago
  • Kahte

    the way you interwove religion into this piece really grabbed my attention and set a really stiff atmosphere, which I can appreciate. this feels electrified with emotion, and misunderstanding. I like this a lot. I will try and review this if I can. write free


    4 months ago
  • van gogh's girl

    whoa. thissss is...i cant even put into words how much i love this. im so happy for the dark religious pain of this piece


    4 months ago