Two Heartbeats

United States

Kind of a mixed bag of every emotions who paints words like he's putting on armor.

Message to Readers

This is a sentimental piece. Please review. I want to keep working on this and I need other eyes,

You are beautiful... (2 voice)

May 26, 2020

FREE WRITING

16
(Her)
I'm cross legged,
My thumbs are kinda twitchy;
each one doing their own thing.

(Him)
I keep trying to meet her eyes,
Those graceful beautiful eyes,
Have gone cold on me,
She's staring at the floor.

(Both)
I'm finding it hard to breathe.

(Her)
For the first time in this connection
I could call love,
I feel awkward.
                                             
(Both)                           
Something's out of place                                            
Not right.                                                                      
I feel it in my heart.

(Him)                                                                                                                               
It actually entered my gut first.                                                                                                                                     
Her texts                                                                                                                               
just stopped having her usual flair.                                                                                                                 
I could feel it,                                                                     
The second I walked in the door,
Something in the eyes changed.

(Her)
I fell out of love.
But I could never tell him that. 
I never wanted to hurt him.
   
(Me/Him)                                                                                                                                       
Months later I realized that
I'd tell her she was beautiful,
So many times when she didn't believe it.                                                                                                                      
So even now that you've left a mess,                                                                                                                    
 In my heart,                                                                                                                                       
 Just know,

(Me, but how do you want to tell this story?)
You are beautiful...
I want to write a 2 voice love poem with someone. I believe it'd be a beautiful collab.
 

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  • May 26, 2020 - 2:34pm (Now Viewing)

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9 Comments
  • Jasmine khawar

    This is incredible!!
    So lovely, you presented this poem so beautifully<3


    9 months ago
  • Syzygy (#words) (J.A.M)

    Unique! I love the concept of it so much! Two-perspective poems are amazing!


    9 months ago
  • Fabiana250

    Hi! This was a very interesting concept. I loved how the two voices tell a part of their story. If you were talking serious about the collab, I'd love to work with you. Not sure if you would like to work with me, since I'm not that good, but I think we could write something beautiful and moving :)


    9 months ago
  • delete

    This is quite interesting! Have you made up this writing style yourself because I’ve never seen it before? It’s sort of like a play, but a play in a poem if you get what I mean. I think it’s really cute and romantic how the boy and girl speaker go back and forth about being in love with each other but nervous to tell their feelings. I also feel the panic of how they feel is effectively heightened when you give them both simple and snappy sentences going back and forth. Good job!


    9 months ago
  • sunny.v

    interesting and original concept!!


    10 months ago
  • mia_:)

    I love this! Your contest idea is super cool! This honestly seems a bit complex, but I'd love to try my hand at a two voice poem! :)


    10 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    Thank you so much for your sweet comments.I appreciate them so much.I admire your work so much so when I saw you followed me i totally freaked lol


    10 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    Okay so I just came back to read it again and tell you that it is amazing!


    10 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    I personally think it'd be better if the format is her-him-both or him-her-both. Just a suggestion, it would sound and feel better as it's a spoken piece.
    Also your message from writer reminds me of a scene from the great film called 'before sunrise'


    10 months ago