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est. march 5, 2020

Message to Readers

No clue what this is . . .

Based on Vinter Vejen's I Flowered a Soft Pink Rose

I hope the formatting worked (it's kind of random, tbh)

I'd love feedback, since this is my first (very rough) draft!

roses and thorns #ekphrasis(3)

May 13, 2020


                            she was different.

her roots stretched into the same soil, yes,
    but her heart was elsewhere, from elsewhere.

            and they couldn't understand.
                                                                                    her seeds had blown in from overseas;

                                                                                    they've rolled in foreign dirt and licked at unfamiliar skies. 

                    they couldn't understand.

coating their words with honey, manufacturing them in a warehouse of 
                                                                                                            false first impressions.
for things are hardly what they seem.

her rusted petals delved into soul after hardened soul, looking for a friend, 
                    but she was
                                            mocked at every turn. 

mimicked by even the birds who soared overhead, rarely to be bothered with the 
                                                lowly antics of those who lived on the ground.

and she never knew the answers to their inquiries that haunted her as sheets of mist drifted across the sky.

                            the battlefield of her mind claimed more victims with every coming sunrise.

            she cowered as the other flowers tease, whispering her floral soliloquies into the breeze,

                            ignoring their thorny jabs. 

                she's not one of us.
                        she'll never be one of us.

        she tried to fit in, yes,          {o v e r}   a c h i e v i n g     
                                                                                      breathing answers into the sandstorms
                                                                                that threatened   to uproot         what she'd worked toward.

she longed {no, needed} to hear that she was significant.

    'i'm you,' she dreamed to breathe into their souls.
                        'you're me,' they would cry out, finally understanding.

                               they would prance around together, leaves entwined, thorns enlaced,
                                                                                                 arabian mares in a deserted meadow.

                        and they did.

        she could never drip honey off her sentences like they could.
        she could never man her blood-red ship with as much confidence,
                                                                                                but she flourished and flowered.

       a glimmering sheen coated her petals, one of overcoming adversity,

                                                            one of stretching roots deep into uncharted soil.

        she adapted,

                                                                                            and she's you.
                                                                                                                    and you're me.
Based on Vinter Vejen's I Flowered A Soft Pink Rose

I in no way did this piece justice, so please check it out!


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  • joella

    this formatting is everything <3 amazing piece and good luck in the competition!

    7 months ago
  • CrazyNinjaKid

    Edited version, to a piece you reviewed for me many thanks!

    7 months ago
  • Writers of the World

    this virtual camp it is completely at your leisure--a rare summer camp thing, isn't it? ;)

    also, yes, the reviewing swap if still open. However, I would prefer you to read something from April's Must Reads thought

    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Thank you! Ilysm. And yeah, most cotton candy does taste pretty much the same.

    7 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: thank you! i actually originally wrote most of teenage fantasies as a rap. thanks for being so sweet! <3

    7 months ago
  • addy_24

    What a gorgeous piece! Just from this piece alone I can tell you're a very talented writer. Loved the formatting, very effective.!

    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Right??? I have no idea what it means, but he's not wrong XD!

    7 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Oh my God, mia_:)! You did the original justice and so much more! I can clearly see how you intergrated the original into yours. It's so so so pretty, girl!
    The formatting is very effective as well.

    "she cowered as the other flowers tease, whispering her floral soliloquies into the breeze,"

    That. That is beautiful.

    7 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I love this piece!! So good. My favorite part (that also had very effective formatting) is " she tried to fit in, yes, {o v e r} a c h i e v i n g

    breathing answers into the sandstorms

    that threatened to uproot what she'd worked toward."
    The only place the formatting got kinda wonky was the first word; for some reason, the S is totally separated from the rest of the word.

    7 months ago