addy_24

Canada

Poet
Writer
Bookworm
Daydreamer
Ravenclaw
Chocolate-lover
INTP
14 yrs
Candor
Currently reading "Crooked Kingdom" by Leigh Bardugo

Message to Readers

originality
style

Baby Shoes (feedback please)

May 30, 2020

FREE WRITING

7
A pair of baby shoes
Hanging on a white crib
Collecting dust
In a small barren room

There was laughter
Smiles and joy
A baby shower
Filled with people saying,

"Congratulations"

Then there was crying
Frowns and despair
A funeral
Filled with people saying,

" I am so sorry for your loss"

A pair of baby shoes
Hanging on a white crib
Collecting dust
In a small barren room

 
This is a sad one, but an unfortunate reality for many people.

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  • May 30, 2020 - 2:17pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • Charisse Marison

    Wow. This made me tear up. It's so unfortunate that people really have to experience this. Anyways, amazing job on this very touching piece <3


    9 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Very beautiful! Immediately, Ernest Hemingway's short story came to mind. I think AutumnRain mentioned it below. For sale: baby shoes never worn. This is so sad! I love the use of collecting dust; it really symbolizes so much.


    9 months ago
  • Ahsan Nizaam

    Many a time through the course of history things important have been collecting dust. But baby shoes!!! It really strikes the nail on the head. Beautiful!


    9 months ago
  • Ibex

    WOW
    This captures the emotion so well... I feel so sad now. Well done.


    9 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    This reminds me of a famous 6 word story, I forget who wrote it but it goes like “FOR SALE: Baby shoes, never worn.”
    Such a sad and emotional piece, very emotive writing addy, well done. I especially liked how you repeated the first stanza at the end, very effective use of structure.


    10 months ago