a_myriad_of_stars_07

United States

15 // Sophmore
Hi! I'm Hailey, and I love to read the Book of Mormon, eat Chipotle burritos, dance like a crazy maniac in my room, lose brain cells in Chem, belt Hamilton at the top of my lungs, compose music on my piano, oh, and write :)

Message from Writer

My new account is:
sun_is_still_shining
I might move some pieces from here over there...

A VCR with broken tape

May 9, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
Who the heck am I?
If you know, then please make sure to tell me
My mind has erased every inch of me
Please remind me of my scars before they fade completely

Because when darkness comes, I run and hide
I languish in the tears that aren't mine
In my mind's broken record, spinning so fast that I can't see
And I know all of my characters more than I know me

Their voices are more resonant than my friends'
Their pains and sorrows numb mine
Their lives are more interesting than the one I live
So I leave myself behind

But when my feet are thrown on the floor
And a voice calls out my name
I can't rewind to the past
Like a VCR with strangled tape

I can't remember the girl I left behind
The girl I told that she would be made if these imaginations became her destiny
And creative figments became her reality
But in reality, 
They didn't help her find friends, they only took up space in her head
They forced herself to fade away until she was dead

Typing pages of emotions and personalities
Of fake people who I thought I needed
Not seeing my other finger on the backspace bar
Not seeing that myself was being deleted

Now she's gone, and I'm all alone
And my characters sit there beckoning
I say goodbye to that little girl
Cause it's better to be special in your mind
Than to wake up as yourself and be nothing


 

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  • May 9, 2020 - 9:54pm (Now Viewing)

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1 Comment
  • Anne Blackwood

    "I languish in the tears that aren't mine" OOF


    7 months ago