Peer Review by sunny.v (United States)

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ode to the yesteryear

By: joella


FREE WRITING

i was cleaning my room yesterday because god knows i've waited long enough
and from beneath piles of plastic junk i unearthed the remains of our friendship:
the little thread bracelet 
that i cut off of my wrist when it threatened my circulation
and that paperback we filled with our memories
decorated the cover with pastel marker, called it "the book of us", our shared diary,
we brought it to school every day in key-chain embellished backpacks
took turns bringing it home every night to write in
(i don't remember why i kept it, maybe you do)
what happened to the two gap-toothed kids squealing in the backyard as they drenched themselves with hose water
the muddy ground squelching beneath their feet
do you remember them?

you threw out your bracelet yesterday
found it while you were cleaning too, guess great minds think alike
or maybe it was the last remnant of the friend telepathy we loved to nurture

before you got rid of it you sat on your bed for a while
contemplating us
maybe you even shuffled through the pictures from summers long past just to get a nostalgia kick
posted the best one in a faded sepia filter on your story with the caption #throwbackthursday
in the movies i would've called you, or you would've called me
we would've reminisced for a while
while twangy sentimental guitar music swelled in the background 


we're different now
that's okay, it was supposed to be this way

but still miss you

 


Message to Readers

dedicated to the friend I parted ways with before high school
I still think about you sometimes <3


Peer Review

I could totally relate to this! Everything was so raw and personal that I felt like I was intruding, yet I could also find myself experiencing these emotions. Hopefully you and I can learn to live and write about the heartbreak of a lost friend.


maybe more personal scenes of your past? i really liked them, and i think it’d be cool to have more. specific details, that is.


Reviewer Comments

you really have a talent, jo! i have a lot to learn from you. i think some parts of this could use more clarification for the reader since it’s very personal, and could be made a bit more clearer. the emotions were so raw and bittersweet, and it was a painful type of good read! amazing work! p.s. thank you so much for loving my series. i saw your comment and your shout out to me on your profile. it means the world. p.p.s there’s this account called Writers of The World where you can submit other people’s poems (and your own) to be nominated for a monthly Must Reads! i nominated your Wheel of Endless Gold for April! hopefully your great work shines through.