Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is a personal narrative that I've hit a block in. I don't know how to tell my own story. I don't know what people want to hear and what's unnecessary. I'm also not sure how to end it; as a cliffhanger (because it's not over yet) or to resolve it (there is a point where I could do it). I'd really appreciate reviews and/or comments on where to go from here. I'd also appreciate some title suggestions.
I like the introduction, because it is different from what I expected
I think that the time transition is a bit fast and I feel that the time in the doctor's office can be more descriptive.
Overall, this is really beautiful and I hope to see the completed piece eventually.