Anne Blackwood

United States

16
Christian
Theatre kid
Singer (soprano)
Poet
Twin (fraternal)
Spoonie
Disfusive
Highly Sensitive Person
Living oxymoron
Kindness Krusader: Blueberry cotton candy
XXFJ, Melancholic-Sanguine, ambivert

Joined 1/16/20

Message to Readers

This is a personal narrative that I've hit a block in. ​I don't know how to tell my own story. I don't know what people want to hear and what's unnecessary. I'm also not sure how to end it; as a cliffhanger (because it's not over yet) or to resolve it (there is a point where I could do it). I'd really appreciate reviews and/or comments on where to go from here. I'd also appreciate some title suggestions.

WORK IN PROGRESS - Reviews greatly appreciated

May 7, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
I am the kind of person who is simultaneously terrified of change and chronically dissatisfied with the mundane. I’m a butterfly afraid of leaving her cocoon; a dreamer who doesn’t take risks.
I yearn for something big to happen to me, so I can have a story worth telling. But I am often too scared to do anything about it.
I thought “something” would arrive with pomp and circumstance, loudly proclaiming “Hello! I am here to change your life!” Instead, it came gradually, like the smell of cookies that slowly spreads through your house, permeating every inch of the space. Of course, “something” smelled more like burnt toast than chocolate chips.

It started in late September when my job making slushies at Bishop’s Pumpkin Farm became so exhausting that I would come home unable to do anything but lie on my bed.
Actually, I first noticed it in August. My teacher’s pet self had late assignments only two weeks into school. I was simply too distracted to get them in on time.
Well, now that I think about it, that’s not exactly true either. I think the beginning was actually sometime in the summer, although I credited my extra fatigue to working too many odd jobs on top of trying to learn American Sign Language through an accelerated course.

I snapped myself out of my internal monologue with a jolt. It didn’t matter when I started to get sick, right now I had a doctor’s appointment to get to, and I still couldn’t find my glasses.
“Anne! It’s time to leave!” my mom’s voice rang out. I stumbled into the car, slightly blind, but also nearly late, if my mom was to be believed.
I was doubtful that some naturopathic doctor was going to magically rid me of extreme fatigue, brain fog, dizziness, nausea, and lack of appetite, but my mom was hopeful. That, and I was running out of options, having seen my family doctor, a nutritionist, an endocrinologist, and even a doctor in the ER, and I was no closer to figuring out what was wrong with me.
After an hour’s drive through the simple early morning beauty of Greenvale, my mom, dad, and I arrived at Blue Creek Naturopath.

“Hi, I’m Celeste. It’s nice to meet you.”
I thought it was interesting that a doctor introduced herself with her first name. That, along with her genuine, friendly smile, and the way she shook my hand as though I were an adult, made me take an immediate liking to her. Celeste explained that naturopaths are in fact qualified doctors; they just focus on integrating natural healing methods into their patients’ care.
“I think this may have to do with food sensitivities,” she said after I debriefed her on all of my symptoms. “I’ll need to have you take a blood test; we can do that right away.
Most people have an aversion to needles, but through this journey, I’d been stabbed with so many that I wasn’t even slightly nervous as she led me into the other room. I noticed that the whole building somehow lacked the typical chemical scent of most doctor’s offices. I guessed it was from the tea that always seemed to be brewing.
“Your mom’s pretty protective, huh?” Dr. Celeste laughed.
“Yeah, she is. So is my dad, just in a less… loud way, if you know what I mean.” She stuck the needle into my arm. “Wow, I barely even felt that!”
“Only the best for our patients,” she smiled. “Alright, let’s go up to the front desk and schedule your next appointment.”
I zoned out while my parents talked dates and times with Dr. Celeste and listened instead to the peaceful nature sounds coming from behind the couch. I wasn’t convinced that she was right about food sensitivities being the cause of my problems, but at least we had something to look forward to.

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14 Comments
  • mia_:)

    Would you mind taking a look at my new version? I made some of the changes you suggested (and you by no means need to do another review! Just a little comment that says if you like what I did and give me honest feedback?) Thanks! <3<3<3


    7 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    I really like this piece because of all of the emotions.


    7 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Just submitted my review, and I have to say, it's one of the best ones I've done! Whoa, I literally got deja vu right now because that was literally the same thing you wrote on my piece :D I hope it helps!!!!


    7 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Replying: Much love to you too! We could always use more of that! <3<3


    7 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Replying: OH! Literally just had the biggest aha moment ever! Yea, we made oobleck in first grade (no clue why I remember that, but my memory likes to retain information I don't need and forget how to solve math problems XD). Thank you so much for your support and ideas! :) :)


    7 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Thanks for your amazing title ideas! You've definitely got me thinking! I like the Non-Newtonian Fluids one because it's unique! I didn't know about that whole thing until you told me!


    7 months ago
  • Deleted User

    This is very well written!


    7 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Hey! I had an idea and I just wanted to check with you because it was kind of your idea first XD. So, this piece really inspired me to tell my story too, so I wanted to do a piece about my issues and stuff like that. Would that be okay with you? if you want, I can wait until after the tiebreaker. Thanks! <3<3<3


    7 months ago
  • OpalDove

    RESPONSE: It's totally fine! Both you and the other contest, Mia_:), are poets by heart and are having a tough time. I've pushed back the deadline, I'll make a post about it in a second, and you totally don't have to worry. If you want to withdraw I understand. This whole thing is just for fun, and if you aren't having fun, then why do it?


    7 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    TBH, this piece is like a roller coaster of emotions. I loved how you started off......the doctor thing is so beautiful.......that she introduces herself without her title. It's very intriguing to me. I think considering the fact that it is so personal, you should add/ end it whenever you feel like. Whatever comes to your mind. Imagine years from now, reading this piece again....how would it feel like? Nostalgic? Proud? I don't know but for sure.....as reader I'd love to read for this.


    7 months ago
  • Tushar Mandhan

    It's so difficult to write about something so personal.....I don't know you personally but I can guess from your pieces that you're very brave and strong.......that's what I know from your pieces, in real life I can guarantee that you're very very brave. You'll get through it healthy and happy. I believe........I pray.........I know!


    7 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    <3


    7 months ago
  • mia_:)

    You can do this! I find it super hard to tell my story and you're doing great! This is so personal and real! I love it! I probably won't get to my review for a little while, but it's coming! Keep up the good work!!! <3<3<3xoxoxo


    7 months ago
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    Keep going Anne :) You got this girl


    7 months ago