Peer Review by Cheshire Cat (United States)

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crease, sculpt, shape #champion #tiebreaker (feedback, please!!! <3)

By: mia_:)


FREE WRITING

(i)
you color me incompatible.
    i am a blank slate, but you write me out of my own dreams, my dreams for the future.
        you say i'm incompetent, incapable, inadequate. i'm just not what you're looking for. 
    i don't look the way i should, talk the way i should, be the way i should.
i don't fit into your ideals. and your idea of me is the only way i should be.

should i rewrite the constellations threaded into my heart, the words etched into my soul, just to please you?

is that right?

(ii)
we all wish for confidence.
    who doesn't want to feel unstoppable, unbeatable, at the top of the world?
        but confidence is perceptive and your outlook is skewed, your lens fogged up.
           
if i'm proud, i'm bragging.
    if i encourage, i'm condescending.
if i insult myself, i'm in my place, i'm humble, i'm everything a woman should be.
    i should hate the parts of myself that curl up at the edges, that don't lie flat on your floor plan.
if i love myself, i'm passive-aggressive, intent on making others feel inferior.

but that's how you make me feel me.

is that right?

(iii)
her nose wrinkles, forehead creasing, and i long to iron it out, to spare her the pain.
slender palms press against her stomach, fingers melting into slots between her protruding ribs.

ugh, i'm so fat

i look at her, hair covering my conflicted expression

if you're fat, what does that make me?

should i look like that?

is that right?

(iv)
it's not right. and it never should be.

    no one should force you into a mold, your essence spilling over, swirling down the drain.

        you shouldn't need to conform to their standards, whittle away parts of yourself that you secretly love.


all of you is beautiful. 

and that's right.
    


Peer Review

I loved this piece so much. I can agree on all of this some people think they are ugly fat not right or how they should be.


It is so wonderful how you use different examples of how people think of themselves and how others think of them. Um, the only thing that I think it needs is a little more detail and just expand on it.


Reviewer Comments

Also for a good title would be your beautiful just the way you are or all of you is beautiful.