Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
This piece is so effective. It takes the reader on a journey and forces them to think about what you said. But instead of feeling dragged into some moody rant, the reader is eased into a story of both experiences and emotions.
I would really like to see some of these sections further expanded. I understand that it's super hard to deliver a piece that "covers all the bases", so to speak, because to you, the writer, everything makes sense. But your reader is not inside your head. Read through your piece again, and try to think of it as if you've never read anything like it, and like you know nothing about its backstory. I want you to discover for yourself where there needs to be more detail.
May the best writer win!