Peer Review by BizzleWrites (Australia)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Lollipop

By: A Certain Type of Decisive


FREE WRITING

Some love stories are written in blood
And some are written in gold
Ours, darling, is written in crayon 
Let's grow young together-
It’s some kind of innocence
All wrapped up in inexperience (with a cherry on top
And a kiss on the cheek)
You’re my favorite constellation
My favorite, star, planet, galaxy
My favorite world I've explored in this wide, wide universe or people
And I like you very much
Let's cuddle- surrounded by stuffed animals
Let's build a fort in the couch
Let's paint the walls pink and cover them in stickers
Because we're no longer waiting for the right time to use them
Our kisses taste like birthday cake and cherry chap-stick
Cartoons and Cheerios's-
We'll watch the sunrise and the sunset and the moon
And maybe we'll take a spaceship and fly there
Some say love hurts-
But does it have to?
We'll cover out scars with band-aids and kisses
Roses? Wildflowers? I can't tell the difference
Can the grass we lay in be the symbol of love?
There's no way to prove the flowers aren't blooming for us
Sidewalks sparkle in the sun- it's all just glitter to me
Sunshine and rainbows and unicorns
And even on cloudy days, isn't rain beautiful?
When stickers peel off and ban-aids un-stick
When the fort collapses and the flowers wilt
I won't mind, darling
Maybe by then I'll be ready
To grow old together


Message to Readers

It's the final countdown to the end of the world! I'm writing love poetry! Do do doot do! Do do doot doot do!


Peer Review

You said in a really cool way that feeling of not wanting to grow up, wanting childhood to stay on. It is a very interesting poem because so many love poems are about pain. Fantastic job, I really liked it.


I think including some more, maybe, feelings. It is great as is, but a lot of it is about material things, so if you included some more feeling type things that would be awesome.


Reviewer Comments

Overall, this piece is unique, amazing, and beautiful. I really, really, like it.