Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
feedback would be wonderful! (please check out the painting that inspired this!)
This is so serene- where I am now, it's quite hot and traffic wiles away distantly, yet upon reading this this hush and cool descends on my heart- that's a really profound effect you have on the reader.
I admire Monet's work too. Did you know Monet had a wife, Camille Doncieux? Second wife, actually. She, like many renaissance and classical couples, was shadowed by her partners opulence. There was kind of a one-sided Romeo-and-Juliet-scenario unfolding: while the bride's parents completely rejoiced at their partnership, Claude's family shunned it. Whether you intended/ knew it or not, an air of unbreaking is hinted between these two lovers, with nature cleverly employed as the device.
Do you know his work The Artist's Garden at Giverny?
It would be awesome if you did a sequel-types poem 'reflection on the water lilies bring us' where the couple visits different locations of his paintings, each poem with a different aspect of their partnership: (this one) love, doubt, pride, etc...
This is incredible. Wow. The appeal to all five senses is breathtaking.