Peer Review by Dianne (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Fractions

By: SophieW


FREE WRITING

Third grade was the year where fractions came to play.
When their teachers explained, it was better to be a whole than a half. 
So they took her advice and played the game.

Sixth grade was the year when fractions became a sport. 
Their teachers explained the rules of adding and subtracting. 
Of multiplying and dividing. 
So they began to practice 
Subtracting themselves from friend groups.
And adding one half to each other. 
But they were too young to put themselves into the equation. 

Ninth grade was the year their teachers explained the equations.
The equations that were being played out. 
Where their halves became whole.
And the whole year of becoming equivalent.
The year when he was the numerator to her denominator.
Adding themselves into a linear equation. 

But the fraction that was practiced became fractured.
It became improper as he was greater than the denominator.
The numerator finding another to equivalent.
So they broke, as her half went with him. 
She became one-fourth to the equation he was making. 
Then becoming one-eighth of the person they wanted to be.
Resulting in the one-sixteenth of the person I see in the mirror. 


Message to Readers

I'm not that good at poetry. So any tips or ways I could grow will help out a lot! Thank you!


Peer Review

I love this piece! It's cohesive, the analogy isn't forced, and it tells a story very nicely.


The only line I would reword is the last line of the second stanza.


No additional comments.