Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
I'd love feedback on this piece, it's very much 3 different stories and I'm less trying to weave them then imagine a common theme. Edit what calls to you.
As I said in the comments, this piece was really powerful and moving. The way the reading flows even though not everything rhymes is pretty good. The first story is something I'll definitely read. I think it's so relatable for most people (experiencing a heartbreak in freshman year) and you could write this in so many different ways if you actually want to write it. That part about the unkept promises and accidents it's really human (if you get what I mean), like you're not trying to hide anything about that "relationship" as some people do. Then, the second story was just so cute. The smiles, the hugs, the cuddles, everything semnt so perfect...And then when you mentioned "how distant is in my mind" I couldn't help but feel sad. If your goal with this poem was to move people, I think you definitely achieved it.
I'm a bit confused about the third story, though. I think you could maybe explain that idea a bit more, since I feel like the ideas are unfinished. However, perhaps it is just me not understanding because Enlgish isn't my native language. Besides, they're some parts in this text that feel so real, I wonder (if you feel comfortable with sharing) what happened to you? What are those experiences that inspired you to have these story ideas?
Overall, this was amazing!! I can't believe I didn't see your profile earlier. You're writing is so mature, how old are you? 17? 18? You did a wonderful work and I'm definitely reading more of your writing ;)