Peer Review by Wynorrific (United States)

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black hole

By: agustdv


FREE WRITING


caverns of poignancy; the wake in the ache of
small dreams, small pressed feet.
the heart falls prey to innumerable
blows shelled forth by brutish men,
men of chastity and generational violence
blue streaks of fingernail marks in
soft skin, stomach, the valley in the chest.
tunnel vision and the soothing silt 
in graveyards. there is a black hole 
at the end of this tragedy; vast, inky
madness, sheet ice, sickly sweet, 
where the suns die, and all 
sob tales come to an end. 




 


Peer Review

I was moved by the fact that this poem almost reassures the reader using the idea of a black hole---it's so beyond our comprehension, so vast and careless and unforgiving. You turn it into something calming. I saw it as 'don't worry, the pain will end when the world ends'.


Honestly, I think it's almost perfect the way it is. Additional lines would be unnecessary. I'd like to know what you were thinking of when you wrote this, though!


Reviewer Comments

This might be my favorite poem right next to A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe. Amazing use of language, deep message, just beautiful all around.