Peer Review by CrazyNinjaKid (Australia)

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The group in the meadow: Acceptance | #NinjasContest_2

By: .amelia.


FREE WRITING

Lyre. Lyre. His name rolled over the tip of her tongue.

Well, curse you, Lyre! She snapped mentally.

Hannah reached to fling the crown on the stone floor and stomp it to pieces.

But she wouldn't.

When Lyre set it gently upon her head, it sank roots of intoxicating comfort into the knolls and dells of her complicated brain.

It was so deep in, Hannah simply couldn't lift the crown without feeling guilty.
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The school bell jolted her awake.

Hannah groaned and pulled herself up.
From huddling in a mini-soccer net--once a brilliant blue parasol--her right leg was dead to the world. Cakes of dust clumping across the old net now clung to her hair and clothes like frizzy accessories.

Hannah gripped on the plastic bar overhead to lift her off her tired legs.

The slim bar squeaked and gave in.

She landed on the ashen grey floor in a startled heap. The bar was snapped clean and impossible to fit back.

Besides, she didn't have time.

With stumbling footsteps, Hannah reached for a tennis cart with a suspiciously sticky handle. Like the captain of huge ships sailing across her dreams, Hannah hauled herself up.

Only, when she stepped out of the shack, she wasn't special anymore.

Everything was the same from here onwards.

Hannah would sprint to reach thorn-shaped spire just in time for class. She would dust herself as she ran, so no one could point fingers. She would only look straight ahead to make sure people ignore her.

But he had to interfere.

He had to stroll by the lockers, right into Hannah pulling a lose strand of brown hair from her school dress.

"Oh!" The boy's voice resonated like a musical note.

Hannah glanced up.

It was him. The one who hung out with the group in the meadow. The one with the brightest smile and understanding eyes. The one with olive skin, royal blue jacket-

Headfirst, she crashed into him.

Clouds of dust flew all over the place, flittering around frantically. Startled but unharmed, they both took a step back.

Hannah hung her head in shame.

"Are you alright?" The boy lowered his brilliant green eyes into her field of vision.

What was he doing here? Didn't he have friends that hung out with him? Wasn't he having classes now? Why did he have to see her like this? He must be mad at her.

"Sorry." She could hardly think.

Then, with nothing else to say, Hannah bolted down the hallway.

"Hey, wait!" He called out.

Enchanted by the melodic voice, her legs naturally froze.

"I've seen you around alot."

Good. She wasn't transparent after all.

"And you could hit me if I'm wrong but," he walked towards her in graceful strides, "you could really use some cheering up."

Cheering up? What for?

Still, she didn't want to slap him.

"It's okay if you don't wanna talk." He beamed and shrugged cheerfully.

"Just wanted to give you this."

Hannah watched him take off a wreath of sapphires blue flowers on his head. Her eyes glided over his slender fingers as they skillfully twisted the network of green stems.

When he was done, the student councillor looked up and flashed her a golden smile.

He set the crown over the stunned girl so that it stayed just above her forehead.

"My name's Lyre." He told her when he was done.

"Sorry for wasting your time. I could walk you to class and cover for your latecoming."

"You weren't waiting my time." Hannah's voice came out like a raspy croak. "Don't walk me to class."

Lyre gave that perfect smile again.

"If you say so," he shrugged.

"Thanks."

"See you around then." Lyre lifted his hand to bade her goodbye, before gracefully tucking it back into his jacket pocket.

She turned to flee.

But something was out of place.

Hannah knew what it was.

Though she may regret it for eternity.

She wheeled around to look at Lyre. The silhouette in the slick collared jacket hadn't moved at all.

"I'm Hannah." She cleared her throat. "You could walk me to class only if you're free."

I was expecting the word count to hit like 800 or something but 689's better.

This is for CrazyNinjaKid's competition, prompt 2.

The prelude to this story would probably help you understand stuff better so here it is.
https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/160256/version/313493

thx for reading! :)

Message to Readers

I should first explain that I'm not a fan of writing myself as first person. Hence, Hannah.

So, about the soulmates part, it's about me and this guy who ended up in a different school. (Long story short he's super smart and my grades weren't good...)

But enough about my story. Do read on :)


Peer Review

I loved the girl Hannah's character! Literally could feel as though I knew everything there was to her! Awesome job!!


I think it would be great to make a part two and evaluate this guy Lyre's character, but from Hannah's side still. Gives us an insight to who he really is by extending this.


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