birthdaycandles

Ireland

Just an 18 yr old aspiring to be something like a living, walking (and writing) hug.

Pfp is art by Vanessa Stockard <3

Things close to my heart:
God, my family + climate change

-Joined Sept 2019, active since March 2020-
prev. AutumnRain

Message to Readers

I would really like to know if it is clear that this poem is dedicated to Mother Nature, it’s about how we as humans have abused her and essentially are killing her with climate change, deforestation and corporal greed. Is this idea clear enough from the poem? Any feedback is so greatly appreciated :)

mother, i miss you

May 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

12
i remember you were cold to touch,
promised me everything though it wasn't much.
your voice strong and caring,
until we found out your lungs needed repairing.

breath rose as black as the night,
leaned over, whispered "hold on tight".
irony to taste, rivers ran red,
as from your dying womb you bled.

a temperature came and wouldn't go,
a child's wish, i prayed for snow.
on a bed of steel, nothing more to give,
i cried "mother, i'm sorry, please live".

blackened and bruised, smile faded to grey,
your condition worsening day by day.
stable, critical, fatal, word games,
did they ever call you once by name?

​they shaved off your hair, locks fell to the floor,
they sold it and laughed, still wanting more.
i clutched your hand, veins bulging and blue,
oh mother, tell me what should i do.

you never spoke, silent and still,
stood by and watched as you lay ill.
they pulled, they poked and they took,
severed out your heart with one giant hook.





 

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  • May 1, 2020 - 7:07pm (Now Viewing)

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7 Comments
  • birthdaycandles

    @best at procrastinating no no you're not stupid!!! you're far from it! thanks for giving me your absolute honest opinion, it means more to me than any pleasantries (although they're still encouraging to read!), i really appreciate your feedback! yeah, you are right about interpretation making poetry beautiful though. :)


    7 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    If I'm being 100% honest, I didn't realize it was about Mother Nature until I read your message (because of my stupidity, not your writing). But I thought it was really good before I figured it out and even better after I did. I think that's the beauty of poetry - it can be interpreted in so many different ways by the reader. And don't worry about your long comment, look at this one. XD So good!


    7 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    thank you so much guys :))


    7 months ago
  • .amelia.

    It's so lucid, but so wicked (which is a good thing!). I love the way the poem flows so nicely :)


    7 months ago
  • WhispersOfGray

    This is so beautiful. Deep and... and it made my heart cry. So emotional, gorgeously written.


    7 months ago
  • PureHeart

    Oh, my heart! This is do beautifully written, and very heart-wrenching. Well done ^^


    7 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    This is heartbreaking but beautiful:)


    7 months ago