I am 19, living in the U.S. and working on an English degree of some sort. I haven't been active on here in forever so here I am, back and better than ever.
I would like feedback on anything you feel could use some tweaking or hardcore editing. If there's something that could have been developed more, or my mechanics are awful and the flow of the piece is choppy, I would very much appreciate your comments to help assist me in growing as a writer. Thank you!
Written By: armour-clad
April 13, 2015
Eclectic. That is the word I would use to describe my music library. I have everything from AC/DC to Tchaikovsky. My tastes vary so thouroughly. I have one album that I have listened to so many times that I know the lyrics to every single song. I grew up listening to it on the stereo and then listening to it through ear buds throughout my pre-teen years. This album is August and Everything After by Counting Crows.
I keep listening because as I lie there listening to songs about girls who are lost, I don't feel lonely. I don't feel scared, or abandoned, or rejected. This album is comforting because it addresses the hapiness and grief that people experience in life. The first song on the album, Round Here, is about living in a place where people hide their grief and keep themselves controlled and hidden. People come to a city to fullfill dreams and live in an ethereal state of being. When reality rears it's ugly head, everybody is disapointed that their dreams can't be fullfilled simply by a change of scenery.
This album has minor keys which play on the idea of joy amid sadness. I listen to this entire album begining to end every time. I have a feeling that these songs were meant to be heard in their particular order and so that's the order I listen to them in. It was constructed with a crescendo of emotion in the center songs and a downplay to gentle hope in the final song.
The closing song, Murder of One, is about loneliness amid a crowd. The song is about standing on the outskirts of society and watching what happens from a distance. This speaks to me because I always thought I was weird for wanting to just sit and listen when my peers were speaking. It has taught me that hope and love and individuality are treasures. This album is the anthem that I grew up listening to and it reminds me that I'm never alone in the world and that nothing is wrong with being different. It is full of hope and home because it doesn't pretend like life is perfect and that everything should be up-beat.
I keep listening because I think that one day I'm going to fall in love, and this album has taught me that there will be ups and downs in love. You'll be overjoyed, you'll be sorrowful, and that's ok. Love is like life in that way. Life is ecletic. Everything comes from someplace, everybody is going somewhere, and this album has taught me to see the beauty in even the darkest of places.
Ideas & Content
Level 1: Developing
You have a great start here! I like how you talk about your emotional reactions to the stories in the album. I'd love to see you break it down into individual songs and how they effect you, taking into consideration the music as well as the story that they tell.
Organization & Structure
Level 1: Developing
You have a really good beginning and end. Once you flesh this out a bit in the middle, talking about the music and the album in more detail, I recommend revisiting your structure, just to make sure that it still works.
Language, Usage & Mechanics
Level 2: Capable
Your language use is clean and clear. I can't wait to see more of it!
You have a great start here! One way to continue this would be to go though each song, talk about what it is about, and what that song means to you. Here are some prompts to get you started: Do you listen to the songs individually, or do you listen to the album straight through every time? Why? What about the album makes you listen to it the way you do? You mention the subject matter and how you react to it, but what about the musicality of the songs? How does the music itself speak to you? I look forward to seeing your next version of this essay.