Peer Review by HelpMe512 (United States)

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Flos Amoris Chp. 3

By: Westley


FREE WRITING

Malteen looked down at the man sleeping on his couch.

His skin was starch white, like milk, or corn starch. That unreal white of printer paper, whiter than an albino person. He had short, straight, white hair, that looked silky smooth. He had one strand with a pink highlight. 

He had on an oversized Tuxedo Mask T-shirt, over a pair of black boxers. In fact Malteen could recall washing such clothes the other day... This man was wearing his clothes! 

But Malteen couldn't bear to wake him up, his gentle face as he slept, it was to gentle and sweet to disturb. So Malteen sat at the counter and read the newspaper.

Around half an hour later Malteen heard rustling. He set down the paper to go look at the couch. The strange man sat up.

"Malteen is home!" He noticed happily.

"How do you know my name? How did you get in here?" Malteen demanded.

The man tilted his head, "But you told me your name. Why wouldn't I be in here? I've always been here," he stopped to look around, "well, I was in a different room before."

"What do you mean? Who are you?" Malteen grilled.


The man seemed confused, "Why are you so angry? Did Jack scare away customers again? You're the one who brought me here, who named me, Nicum."

Malteen's harsh expression dropped, Nicum... 

"Nicum, is my lily, the Sasa-yuri on my bedside table," Malteen said.

Nicum shook his head, "Now you understand! I am your lily."

Malteen made a confused expression, "But you seem rather human," MAlteen stopped to do a double take on the man's incrediby pale appearance, "Or somewhat..."

Nicum's pale pink eyes drooped, "Nicum too is very confused... Nicum woke up in Malteen's room, and Malteen wasn't home. But Nicum, well, Nicum was much larger than Nicum remembered, and he wasn't stuck in his pot..." Nicum then blushed, "And, um, Nicum had no clothes, and Nicum thought he was rather Malteen-shaped, and Malteen wears clothes, so Nicum put his clothes on."

Malteen's face was froze in a shocked expression, his mind attemting to register what Nicum was saying. He let out a shaky laugh, "You are - you're trying to tell me, that you are a flower?"

"More human than flower now it seems," Nicum said. "Since Malteen was not home Nicum decided to wait patiently, but grew tired... So Nicum slept on the couch."

Malteen couldn't bring himself to say anything. Suddenly Nicum took hold of his hand. Nicum's skin was very smooth, and soft. "If you don't believe Nicum, he will show you!"

Nicum the dragged Malteen to his room. Malteen could see that the flower pot on his bedside table was broken, cracked to pieces, and the dirt lay everywhere.

Malteen sat down on the bed, and Nicum copied, taking a seat beside him.

"How did I get stuck in some bizzare book, a parallel universe!" He threw his hands up into the air. He then turned to Nicum, "And how can you talk? How do you know what clothes, and sleep are, among other things?"

"Of course Nicum knows," Nicum answered. "Malteen often talks to Nicum, and Nicum has seen Malteen do human things."

Malteen blsuhed, exactly what all had Nicum seen? Malteen was about to ask what gender Nicum was (he couldn't quite tell), but then noticed that with those boxers on, it was quite easy to see Nicum was male.

Nicum laid down on the bed, "It is late, and Malteen should be going to sleep. Nicum will sleep as well, like a human."

"In my bed?" Malteen asked.

"Is that not where humans sleep?" Nicum asked.

"No it is, I just ment, with me..." he trailed off.

"Nicum didn't mean to intrude," Nicum announced. "Nicum thought you might want company, Malteen often says Jack is trying to get someone in his bed."

Malteen blushed, "No, really, I'm fine. You can sleep on my bed, I'll go sleep on the couch."

Nicum quickly stood up, "No, this is Malteen's sleeping place, Nicum will no take it. Nicum will sleep on the couch."

"I can't let you do that," Malteen began.

"I am insiting," Nicum decreed. "I think the couch is very...comfy."

"Fine," Malteen gave up.

He gave Nicum some spare pillows and blankets, "These should keep you warm. I apologise if Candy bothers you while you sleep."

Nicum sat down on the couch and set down the pillows, "I do not like the Candy, it tried to eat my hair..." He frowned.

"Soory about that," Malteen apologised. "I'll be up in my room if you need anything." HE then turned around.

"Are you not going to say goodnight?" Nicum asked.

"Uh, Goodnight," Malteen said before heading back up the stairs.

"I love you!" Nicum called out.

"Huh?" Malteen blushed and frantically turned around.

"Malteen has often said that to Nicum before bed, but Nicum has never got to say it back," he explained.

"Right," Malteen cleared his throat. "I uh, I - I love you too Nicum."

Nicum grinned, "Goodnight Malteen."

If you know who tuxedo mask is you're great, fellow Sailor Moon fans. Also in case you were wondering a Sasa-yuri is a type of lily, I took the name Nicum from the end of its latin name.
Nicum likes reffering to himself in the third person, and uses people's names when talking directly to them. Nicum also refers to Candy as the Candy. 

Check out the first two chappies if you haven't already. Start shipping this two beatiful boys. Feel free to give feedback, your support means everything!

Peer Review

I'm absolutely in love with Nicum's character. He's so adorable! This is such a cool plotline!


Most of the mistakes I found here were formatting errors. I did find some of the mistakes I pointed out in the previous chapters here too, so maybe keep a lookout for those as well.


Reviewer Comments

I really enjoyed this! Nicum is adorable!