Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I like how this piece is written; the repitition, the strong view, and how personal it is. It would make a great speech. I also agree with the writer's views on the subject matter. Gender is not something one is born with, nor something determined by chromosomes. Gender is part of one's identity; what one feels they are, and thus there aren't just two genders; there are infinitely many, because there are infinitely many ways to feel.
Since this makes a good speech, consider using uppercase letters and formatting it more like a speech.
I can understand that it must be hard not to be able to tell this to your family at the moment. Still, don't let other people tell you who you are; you are who you say you are.
Also, do you think that in the future, you might use a version of this for a speech?