Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
This is something I wrote for class and I think it turned out pretty good. Please tell me what you think and whether it was too confusing or not.
I really appreciated how you described the different scenes were definitely really enjoyable to read in your article. You have a knack for using vivid descriptions that make the scenes you describe easy to visualize. This, therefore, makes your story easy to follow. :)
I wonder what kind of ball this was? It appears to be quite a high profile and aristocratic/bourgeois one given that hundreds of people have attended. I wonder too how the male main character had discovered you, and what you felt at that instance? Also, what did the event mean to you to be dressed in such an opulent dress adorned with rubies?
It had been a pleasure to have read your work, thank you for sharing it on Write the World. :)
It's no doubt that you demonstrate strong competence in employing vivid descriptions that facilitate imagination. Kudos to you on a great job. :)
It would be a good idea to keep reading to acquire a richer command of vocabulary. Some descriptions in your essay would benefit from using apt vocabulary fit in that particular context. These small points would have been highlighted for you and a small suggestion would be made. It would be good to look through your work once more before submission for spelling errors.
There are also some unclear references and descriptions in your short article that I would have highlighted for you. Lastly, it is a good idea to ascertain the meaning of words before using them in your essay. Often times we get confused and put them in places where another word should have been used. But not to worry: this is a common problem that happens to the best of us.
Overall, your work shows immense potential and it's been wonderful having read it. Here's hoping to see more from you on Write the World. Take heart, and keep reading and writing :)