I learned what gay meant from my mom.
My dad had been kicked off of an interview
For expressing his disapproval of it.
I went to school the next day.
“I don’t think it’s okay to be gay.”
Also second grade,
I thought it would be cool to marry my best friend.
I didn’t realize I was queer.
same-sex marriage is legalized.
I don’t know how I changed so much so quickly.
I spent a lot of time talking about gay rights.
I found a website called Wattpad.
I began reading.
There was a lot of fan fiction involved.
I was writing my own fan fiction.
I reached new heights with my follower count.
I found a queer dictionary.
I spent days rereading the whole thing.
I couldn’t figure myself out.
I had to find the perfect label.
I found a rare one
That didn’t quite fit either
But it was close enough.
I came out and the summer before
My parents discovered Wattpad
And a message from
My friends’ parents.
I’d been outed.
They were horrified at what I’d
Become, discovered, accepted.
They wanted to delete my account
And all forty long works on it.
I spent a lot of time crying.
I still didn’t know what exactly I was.
I stopped talking about gay rights.
I stopped talking about my identity.
I didn’t forget.
My parents pretended to forget.
My sister pretended to forget.
I couldn’t sleep.
I came out at home.
I can’t come out at school
Or my dad would lose his job
So home will have to be enough.
My parents used my pronouns for the first time.
My older sister used my pronouns for the second time.
My younger siblings still don’t know.
They might tell people.
I will walk across the stage
I will give my speech.
I will not mention my identity.
The crowd will clap.
They will not remember who I was.
Ngl I’m thinking of changing the title to a queer-related one (since that’s the topic anyway) because I swear y’all see the word “queer” or “non-binary” or “gay” in it and click immediately lol
Aside from that, any feedback is greatly appreciated and I would love to hear what I can enhance about this poem :)