Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I really like your use of really strong words. They described what was happening very well and in great detail. I was really immersive!
I think you did very well with the balance of actions and adjectives. The only thing I would recommend doing differently with words is to use the characters instead of pronouns because keeping track of which "he" it is can be very confusing.
This was super good, and I enjoyed reading this a lot!