Peer Review by Quarkoala (United States)

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In Which Heroes Fall and Villains Rise

By: Root

PROMPT: Open Prompt

What do you do when the heroes have fallen, 
Hundreds of years ago?
When they did the math, 
And they decided that humans would 
Sometimes be sacrificed in order to 
Prioritize the money? 

When the heroes have fallen, who will save the day?
The homeless man, hand shaking in the cold
to write his plea on cardboard?
The underpaid teacher, sitting down to talk with a “troubled” student
and giving him hope?
Or, perhaps most likely, 
The villain?

When heroes fall, who are the villains? 
Those who have countered the heroes? 
The heroes never sought out to save the day
So who cares if an antagonist wished to fight them?
For the hero was not fighting for the greater good anyway. 

When the heroes are falling, what else is left 
Except for the villains to rise?

Hello! This poem is actually based off a novel I’ve been writing (which I’ll make In Which Heroes Fall for the first book and And Villains Rise for the second). I’m in the process of editing it and hope to publish it within my high school career. Any help with editing the poem is appreciated!

Message to Readers

I’m very new with poetry so any advice is very greatly appreciated!

Peer Review

This piece is about who would rise up to take the place of heroes, if heroes were no longer there.

The structure of this piece is very strong; it isn't just random. It's almost prose, but not quite.

Why wasn't the hero fighting for the greater good, and why didn't the hero want to save the day? What did the hero want? I'm sure there's some reason for this; I just don't see it.

Also, in your next draft, I suggest you make a decision between capitalizing the beginning of every line, or only capitalizing the beginning of every sentence.

Reviewer Comments

This is a very strong poem, with a very strong perspective. Great job!