Peer Review by HelpMe512 (United States)

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Writing Streak Week 2 Day 4

By: The Dreamer


Its pitch black outside but I know there are at least a dozen stars in the sky after such a warm day. I feel a sudden urge to run outisde, find Orion and then lie down, staring up at the sky letting my dreams carry me away.  The large mountains have melted away into the ink of the night and all I can see is the neighbour's house. Ah, yes, the neighbours house. The furthest outside my own home I've seen proof of humanity in 3 weeks. 

I open the window and lean outside. I can hear a choir of crickets singing harmoniously, a soloist piping up from time to time. An irregular base is thrummed into existence by the frogs. There is the barking of dogs and chatter of family. I stick my nose through the burgalar bars and the perfume of flowers drifts towards me on the crisp, fresh breeze. And most undiniably there is the smoking of a barbeque nearby. I am tempted more than ever to run outside, but ctching a cold isn't even an option at this point. I 've been out in the cold recently out of desperation and a choking claustrophobia. Can't take any more risks..

Message to Readers

I finally did it!!!!! I wa ted to join the writing streak challenge all week but online school just won't give me a break. I hope everyone is safe and keeping gheir spirits up.

Peer Review

I like how you describe the isolation you feel, and I can tell how much you long to go outside. The imagery is very vivid, and I love the description of the sound outside. I also appreciate that you used more than a few senses; i really immerses the reader.

There's a few sentences I would change, and a few grammar errors, but other than that I think this really well written.

Reviewer Comments

I was going to review one of your poems, but I'm not too good at reviewing poetry. I really liked this piece!