d a w n

FREE WRITING

colorless agony/ this heatwave is/ enchanting/

birds overgrown/ a meadow of weeds/ and the sinking of toes/ crushed sand in empty/ colloquial mouths/

are you a stranger/ to the scent of/ doom?/ are you thinking/ of my/ bottomless daybreak/ words?/

god/ i have prayed/ mercilessly/ for a day like this/ to end

Peer Review

What about this piece delighted, surprised, or moved you?

I love the sense of heat, listlessness and compression. Great linguistic choice.

What else would you like to know? Where might the writer deepen an idea or question? Would additional details invite you further into the writing?

Potentially a different title? Idk, I just feel that the 'dawn' doesn't fit the tone of the piece.

Reviewer Comments

Great job. Love it.