i don't know how to say sorry, so i'll write about it

apologies run like a river through my head,
day after day.
and yet
i don't know what to say.
the words die on my tongue
because they're never good enough.

the fear gnaws at me
in the form of ravenous butterflies.
and they whisper little lies,
to lead my mind astray.

everything about you
flits through my mind.
night and day, awake or asleep,
without a moments break.

each waking night,
drags on like a lasting punishment.
hours on end,
sleepless.

i never know
the right time,
or
what to say,
so i write about it.
a silent cry,
to tame my insanity.
at least
for a little while