Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Definitely your smooth rhyme! It made your poem a breeze to read. There are also descriptions within the poem that are refreshing to read ("The petals opened and light touched her virgin frame"; "at twilight the dust of the stars settles").
I would definitely like to know what had concretely happened to the girl in question for her to die young and live a difficult life. Why wasn't there anybody to help her out?
Your poem had an ethereal feel about it, which I liked a lot. :)
You had attempted to describe the character's story with three themes, 1) nature (i.e. flowers, stardust and dew); 2) transcendence (i.e. chariot of time; "playing one's role in the world's stage). Whilst I appreciated this creative attempt, it was a little hard to follow at times what exactly was happening in the story and what the character had gone through. There are times where I had been confused as to why certain expressions/words are used and some jumps in logic within the poem (why did the girl suddenly die?). These points will have been highlighted for you for your easy reference. :)
It is a good idea to concentrate your creative ideas into one theme and come up with wonderful descriptions (like you have demonstrated in this piece) just for that one theme. Take heart, and I hope to see more from you on Write the World!