FizzyBaguette

Canada

Vivian - meaning alive in Latin, which is a pretty useless definition if I'm dead.
Fun fact: I have really thick glasses!

Message from Writer

I have no idea why you’re here but now that you are, stay for a while. Come to the dark side; we have Poptarts.

Another Day at Benefits with Friends

March 24, 2020

*Your call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes. Please wait in line as all our front desk receptionists are busy.*

8:26 a.m
Jovi: Hello, this is Jovi from Benefits with Friends, how may I help you? 
Carol: Hi, are there breakfast joints near this island resort?
Jovi: You bet there are! There’s Breakfast with Bacon about a short walk away-
Carol: Oh no, I’m vegan. I can’t.
Jovi: That’s fine, ma’am. Let me see (pause). Well, we don’t have anything nearby, but-
Carol: This is ridiculous! How does this place not have any vegan-friendly restaurants nearby? I did not pay hundreds of dollars to be denied access to my basic right to food. I swear, this area is full of heathens! I would like to speak with the manager!
Jovi: She’s out of town for the weekend. 
Carol: Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. 

8:29 a.m
Jovi: Hello, this is Jovi from Benefits with Friends, how may I help you? 
Dr. Weisenbachfeld: I’m a scientist here to view the new constellation, the Conjoined Octopus. You know where I can get the best view?
Jovi: Sorry, the what?
Dr. Weisenbachfeld: The Conjoined Octopus.
Jovi: Why...why would astrologists name it that?
Dr. Weisenbachfeld: Because it looks like a conjoined octopus.
Jovi: *sighs* I should have known.

8: 35 a.m
Jovi: Hi, this is-
Louis: Have you seen Waffles?
Jovi: Who?
Louis: My pet polar bear. I left my room door open, and it seems that he has escaped. 
Jovi: What? Sir, wild animals are not allowed in our facilities!
Louis: He’s not wild, he’s actually quite tame. And he’s my pet. 
Jovi: W-what - nevermind. Where did you ever get him?
Louis: From a dog pound called ‘Who Let the Dogs Out?’. They thought Waffles was a white pup. Can you imagine? And - *muffled speaking in the background* It seems that my partner Francis has lost the new butterfly species he was breeding as well.
Jovi: WHAT?
Louis: The Elevare Rhopalocera, also known as the Elevated Butterfly. It’s supposed to have lasers come out of its eyes and everything. Isn’t that cool? *pause* Hello? Are you still there? Hey, did you hang up?

10: 04 a.m
Jovi: What do you want? 
Kendall: Any shopping places nearby?
Jovi: If you take the Highway to Purgatory up to Steeles Avenue and exit right, you’ll come across Capital Mall.
Kendall: What stores do they have there?
Jovi: Well, if you want the new Kiiwii, there’s a local smartphone store for that. There’s the eyeglasses store, Winks and Blinks, in case you want a pair of sunglasses. It’s supposed to get really sunny later. And there’s a Sephora. Have you seen the new nail polish line up they released?
Kendall: Oh my gosh, I have! I’m in love with Politics. The dark red, with its black undertones, is to die for. Anyhow, you seem to know a lot about the mall. You work there?
Jovi: I do. This job isn’t worth its pay.  

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7 Comments
  • l.grace.ll

    this was beautiful. could have named the first character karen though.


    6 days ago
  • Halopoet

    This was helpful and funny loved it


    6 days ago
  • Deep_Breaths

    I love Jovi's character! She seems like she could use a vacation.


    12 days ago
  • Caravallover02

    Reading this was an awesome start to the day, so funny!


    15 days ago
  • Bananasaurus

    This is just an amazing way to deliver the prompt!


    15 days ago
  • Annabelle Ford

    I like how you manage to make the whole thing a phone call! Good piece!


    16 days ago
  • Jun Lei

    ahhh, jovi, we empathize. this was hilarious! i love your dialogue pieces.


    17 days ago