Peer Review by phi1.618 (United Kingdom)

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Burnsong

By: Anne Blackwood


FREE WRITING

I'm gasping and holding my breath
And I'm crying out depth
Wishing and cracking
There's a "no-going-back" sting
Wrapping around me
Because love's never free
It comes with a price
Nothing will suffice
Not until this is over
And I finally find closure
No, I'm not blaming you
All you've done is stay true
I'll stay on the sidelines
Just pace between skylines
Wait for the finish
And my love to diminish
Why can't I leave them
These feelings I condemn
I'll be here on my floor
Until you walk out the door
Or my heart does the same
I can't give up your name


Peer Review

I liked how different this poem is to the one I reviewed earlier (sorry about the spam doing a review-a-thon to suffer the isolation at home and spreading my paining comments on structure to al.)


What this poem tell is what type of love you are referring to? As a reader its enjoyable so maybe lean into this as it gives your resolve a universal openness to everyone.


Reviewer Comments

What to me would help this poem is some punctuation. You create such drama in text some space would aid it greatly. Music is sound and silence and music is poetry so just a thought.

Rhyme is hard to get right as especially when i use couplets I worry I sound childish but the way you use it here is far from childish it is effectively innocent matching the poem to the T. Well done and kudos.