Peer Review by Fabiana250 (Peru)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


#SelfHateSelfLove - flat-chest girl - Prompt #3 - First entry

By: Anne Blackwood


FREE WRITING

I don't look at fashion magazines
I mean, who reads real magazines anymore?
But I do look around
And I see pretty painted everywhere
Smiles and busts and perfect

You know those sweet guys
Who make the videos telling girls not to change themselves
Well they still turn right around and date that magic girl
Who is thin but still shaped like an hourglass
Or they went and got a plus size girl
Because curves are much more desirable than a stick

Don't get me wrong; I know I'm beautiful
I do
It can be really hard to believe that though
I stand strong and remind myself
That someone will recognize my worth

But what if I am shallow and
Sometimes want someone to like me
And not in spite of this faulty capsule that surrounds my heart
Sometimes want someone to see me and say
"Wow, she's gorgeous."

Because I'm not
My girl friends can try to convince me otherwise
But no one really thinks it of me
They say I am the ideal size and then leave out the part
Where my jean size isn't the problem
I guess the sooner I accept it
The happier I'll be
However, there isn't an elegant way to say
It's not that simple

I hold no resentment against curvy girls. This is just me finally admitting that I'm not always happy with the way I look.

Message to Readers

I know this is kinda sloppy; I've never written anything like this before. If anyone can help make it communicate better, that would be much appreciated.


Peer Review

This piece is a representation of what many girls feel. They know they're pretty, they want to believe so, but sometimes it's hard to believe since the society has some beauty standards, and to be honest, not all of us girls fulfill those expectations. The way you could express yourself and this problematic was great. There are some rhymes in there that I really enjoyed while reading since they made this poem smoothlier to read (I don't know if you get me).


I think you should try to organise your ideas a bit so your ideas don't confuse your readers because, for example, I don't understand quite good if sometimes you don't feel good with your body, or your face, or both of them. Maybe you could focus on one of those aspects or if you want to include both, give them an order. It would be interesting to see your perspective about this (society beauty standards), so perhaps you could include it more conspicuously in the poem.


Reviewer Comments

I could definitely relate to this poem. You did a great job for someone who never had written something like this before. Keep writing!