I never really understood the point in falling in love. I never really understood any of it. Feelings in general make my head spin and the world around me goes crazy. Than I met a boy who made the spinning stop and for a moment i knew I was going to be okay because I had him. Than my depression consumed me and i lost my way. I broke up with him even though I fell head over heels blindly in love. He gave me every chance that he could and at the time i blamed him for not loving me but the truth is I was scared to let myself love him because I didn't trust myself enough not to hurt him and that's exactly what happened. I try so hard not to hurt people and in the end that's exactly what I do. I regret ever hurting him because I didn't wanna believe I could be loved. It hurts like fucking hell now that hes moved on. When I was with him I didn't care what we were doing I was just glad to call him mine. Someone once told me that you cant love another person until you've learned to love yourself but when I was with him he made me want to love myself and he honestly made life worth living. I never really understood the point in falling in love until I met him. Falling is the scary part. You just have to take a leap of faith and pray to god that they catch you and if they dont you just keep falling into the endless black void known as heartbreak until you've finally moved on and I know from experience that it is alot harder than it seems. He caught me though and I never wanted him to let me go. That same person later told me that people are pain that all they do is hurt you. I laughed and smiled, thinking about Jordan because that may be true but some people are worth getting hurt over and it makes the pain and suffering all worth it to just see them smile.