Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I enjoy writing academic essays, so I was really excited to find one on WtW! First off, your topic and summary sentences are great! They really frame each paragraph well. And you chose great evidence from the novels!
I didn’t leave a comment about this above because I don’t think it’s essential, but some of your commentary sentences directly after the quotations seemed repetitive. Maybe change up the wording or vocabulary a bit to add something new, while keeping the same meaning to explain the passage. But if you can’t find a way to reword it, no worries, because what’s most important is that you explain the quotations and their connections. You do that perfectly here.
Great work! School essays are stressful, but you tackled this one well!