messed up dreams in my mind
charred, black soul in my body
catastrophic symphonies in my heart

always missing you guys -

little sis to - Bhavya's Treasure

Message to Readers

Recently, I saw a video of a woman abusing and threatening the Indian police. Why? Because she had rammed her car into three other cars. And when the police came to her house regarding the issue, she began to verbally abuse them and threaten to undress before them, hence, accuse them of harassment.

This video made me wonder how many men are there in the world who suffer this kind of abuse and domestic violence everyday.

I feel that this is an issue that requires utmost importance. We do so much to celebrate women, we celebrate International Women's Day, candle marches and struggles are organised to seek justice for women. But nothing ever happens for men.

It is not like men are immune to abuse.

Like the title suggests, abuse doesn't discriminate between men and women. So why should we, as a society, discriminate in our support for domestic violence victims?

It is high time we realise the gravity of the situation and encourage men to speak up.

Violence is violence, regardless of whether the victim is male or female.

Domestic Violence Doesn’t Discriminate Between Male and Female

July 2, 2020

In June 2017, Alex Skeel, 22, from Bedfordshire was discovered '10 days away from death' when police knocked on his door, leading to an investigation that saw the mother of his two children jailed for more than seven years.

His girlfriend, Jordan Worth became the first female in the UK to be convicted of controlling or coercive behaviour.

Alex was in an abusive relationship for five years. He silently suffered the pain and abuse, because he loved his girlfriend. He believed that she would change but the more he remained silent, the more the abuse increased.

He felt helpless and lost. Cut away from his family, Alex had no one with whom he could share his pain. The situation worsened so much that Alex became used to the injuries inflicted on him. He felt no pain and believed that his girlfriend would kill him if he tried to seek help.

Alex Skeel is not the only man in the word to face abuse. There are millions of abused men who hide in the shadow of masculinity, pride and ego. There are millions of abused men whose situations have been ignored and laughed at.  There are millions of abused men who die every day out of the pain and depression.

Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age regardless of gender. It doesn’t discriminate whether you are a female or a male. Even men can be victims. But who would believe that? It is true that mostly women face sexual harassment, domestic violence and verbal abuse. But this doesn’t mean that men don’t.

According to a study, about two in five of all victims of domestic violence are men, contradicting the widespread impression that it is almost always women who are left battered and bruised. Data from Home Office statistical bulletins and the British Crime Survey show that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims each year between 2004-05 and 2008-09.

The number of women facing domestic violence is indeed much larger in proportion to men, but this is no excuse for ignoring their condition. Sadly, male victims are over three times as likely as women to keep their abuse a secret, or refuse to tell the police or medical professional. And even when they do speak up, no one takes them seriously. Instead their situation is laughed at.

But abuse is not a joke.

The ManKind Initiative was the first charity in Great Britain to support male victims of domestic abuse. On May 23rd, 2014, the ManKind Initiative uploaded a video on its YouTube channel showcasing the plight of male victims. In the video, it was seen that when the husband raised his voice on his wife in a public area, everyone gathered there came to her rescue. All the women present there threatened to call the police and gave reassurance to his wife.

However, when the video is rewinded and the situation is reversed, we see a completely different scenario. The wife pushes her husband, punches him and verbally abuses him. And all the people just keep on watching and laughing.

While everyone takes domestic violence against women seriously, no one realises that even men can suffer a similar situation. Even men can suffer the pain, the hurt, the confusion and the mental torture that comes along with abuse. 

Many male victims have claimed that men are often treated as "second-class victims" and that many police forces and councils are hardly bothered about their situation. Male victims are almost invisible to the authorities who rarely can be prevailed upon to take the man's side. Their plight is largely overlooked by the media, in official reports and in government policies. Since there's very much a belief that domestic abuse only happens to women, it prevents men from coming forward.

It feeds into this fear that they're not going to be believed.

There are various other reasons why men are unable to open up and seek justice. Many men are reluctant to say that they've been abused by women, because it's seen as unmanly and weak. They fear shame, embarrassment, and a failure to live up to masculine ideals. Furthermore, there is an immense pressure on them to keep up the pretence and pretend that everything is OK. 

While one in six men will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives, only one in 20 will ever seek help. And this is all due to the established perception in our society, that only women are weak enough to be abused. That only men are the ones who can do the inhumanity of abusing them. This is the situation we, as a society, have created for men.

If our society can so readily come to a women’s aid when she is abused, then why doesn’t the same happen for men? We hear cases of exploitation and violence against women every day. We feel that communal emotion of hurt, anger and pain every day. Why can’t we feel the same for men?

Domestic violence is no laughing matter. It is a deadly serious issue in need of concerted action. Both men and women can be a victim and both require support when abused. There should be no discrimination.

By equating the idea of gender abuse with female abuse, the society appears to be more focused on women empowerment and women safety, forgetting that there is another gender living among them who needs their equal share of empowerment and safety. Even men empowerment and men safety is necessary. Even men deserve to be heard.

I stand for neither women empowerment nor men empowerment. I stand for a better and safe environment for both the sexes. I stand for a better future for all the victims of domestic violence regardless of whether they are male or female.

I stand for Human Empowerment.

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  • Anne Blackwood


    5 months ago
  • mason wong

    I completly agree with this

    6 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    you wrote this almost 3 months ago but regretfully, i've only just found it. thank you for saying this, from the bottom of my heart.

    6 months ago
  • Currently Unavailable

    Yes. Both men and women are abused and they both deserve equal treatment.

    7 months ago
  • Samina

    The results are out!

    7 months ago
  • buddingauthor

    This is so true. I completely agree. We should strive for equality and give men an equal chance to open up instead of mocking them or ignori
    ng them if they are being abused. Great job.

    9 months ago