Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
The vocabulary in this really helps the description of feelings and strays from the usual plainness I see in others writing. I also like how you included some internal rhymes, such as the end of 18th line "way" with "day" in the 19th line- though I don't know if it was intentional or not. :)
Maybe you could elaborate on how pride can be a downfall to others and humility can be your strength. I know the purpose of the writing was quite the opposite idea, but it would be interesting to see some contrast.
You're an excellent writer and I think what you're writing about is really interesting. I'll probably take a look at your page. :)