Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Your piece started off with a 5-year-old with big dreams and hopes for the future. I believe that is what drew me in and will draw in a lot of readers too. Everyone likes to see and hear about a 5-year-old seeing the best in the world and dreaming big. No one wants to be the person to shatter their precious minds. You used that ideology and drew in readers to keep reading through an enticing and urgent topic happening today. I know for a fact that your first paragraph hook is amazing. You did extraordinarily! Good job!
Although the #MeToo movement isn't, quote on quote, "trendy" anymore, the problem that it's trying to get out is still present, especially in the Hollywood industry.
Your writing was skillfully seasoned with figurative language and relatable scenarios. Mostly, that is what kept me reading apart from the passion that oozed from every single word you wrote. I can tell that you believe in the topic you wrote about. That much passion makes me want to stand up and get people to realize the monstrosities happening. Good job! I'm sure that the passion in your words infected other readers of this piece as well! I love how you mixed facts, passion, and figurative language to brew such an amazing and inspiring piece.
But how does this affect the average girl who doesn't have any dream of going to Hollywood? How does the #MeToo movement touch people away from the cameras? How do you get them to start helping too? In your piece, you mostly talked about how the #MeToo movement is something important happening in Hollywood. You talked about that topic beautifully and brilliantly with colorful words that kept me reading. However, the keywords I'm pointing out is, "in Hollywood." Maybe you're OP-ED is meant to shine a light on the physical violations going on just in Hollywood. However, I would really like to see you use maybe just 1 or 2 paragraphs to expand past Hollywood and talk about the #MeToo movement generally as well.
Your. Piece. Is. Remarkable.
Instead of doing one of the stereotypical and "trendy" issues (not that those topics don't matter), you decided to walk down the street of an almost forgotten present issue. I admire you for doing that. As I've mentioned before, you have such a strong, prodigious, and passionate voice. Voice is a very important element in writing, and you've mastered it. With your writing skills, I feel like you can go very far and help spread awareness. Op-eds seem to be your niche :)
Even though I don't personally know you, your writing makes me proud :)
I've said this a million times throughout this review. You're writing is stunning with almost no flaws. The only thing I want to mention is your paragraph separation. For example, the last sentence of the Introduction Paragraph would fit better in the 2nd paragraph. I like to look at paragraphs as mini-essays. A paragraph should be able to make sense and act on its own in some sense. I suggest trying looking at each paragraph as if they were an essay on its own and figuring out if the point for that paragraph still makes sense.
Thank you for writing this piece. I'm so glad that I stumbled across it. Of course, if you have any questions just leave a comment. I'll get to it as soon as I see it :)
Keep on Writing! It would be sad for the writing world to lose a passionate fire of a writer like you.