Broken like the new China Vase lying on the sheath
Broken like my heart
Broken like my soul

Message to Readers

I know this is kinda weird,but this just popped into my head and I was like- Duh, let's try it out. Please lend your hand if support for this...the second chapter is up now. Go check it out

Faded Chapter 1

March 4, 2020



"Amy, are you even listening?"

I nodded blindly, my mind elsewhere. 
"Ok." she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Tell me what I was talking about?"

I gaped at her like a lunatic, tracing out in details the minimum points that had  managed to  enter my ear during her recent emotional outburst.

"You -  you were talking about a holiday?" I said. 
Danny looked as if I had just  proposed my irresistible love to her.

"I don't believe you !" She yelped, her perfectly done  eyebrows touching her smooth  hairline. Most rich girls in Carsisle were absolute fanatics of getting the perfect eyebrows, come what may. Danny was nothing different. She had a Volvo of her own, four smartphones, three Lenovo PCs , and a quite large and bulky man as a personal hairdresser .

What else can you desire for at this age?

As I gaped on at the girl's face, she gave a huge sigh and got up from the seat. "I can't do this anymore."  She said, passing her seat to Becca. "You explain."

I knew what they were trying to tell me. I had known it since day one. We were planning on a group trip to Goa in the Spring break, and I had been so excited at the aspect of going out with my girlfriends. But now, all of a sudden, love becomes their topmost priority and they decide to ditch me because of their beloved "boyfriends".

"Look, it's not like what you're thinking." began Becca in a distinct voice she had adopted just to act really  concerned to my cause. "We're - we're not telling you to back off because we want to go with our boyfriends."

Oh really.

" It's just- it's just that we don't want you to feel awkward around the group. Us being with our boys and you being on your own. We -" she breathed in. " We just want to take care of you. "

"Then let me go with you. And what's more- that's my motherland . I have every right to go!" I was yelling. Yelling like a child because I wanted to go so bad. I didn't want to be left alone. I didn't want to be the lone sheep. I wanted to go. 

So bad.

"No Amaya." said Danny in her American mixed British accent. Her family had come to Carlisle from Manhattan long back when she was two. Thus, her british accent  was always mixed with some American touch just as mine was mixed with Indian. " You're not going. We'll have to give our boyfriends company . We -" she gulped. " We won't be able to entertain you."

I  quickly gulped down  all the hatred and disgust and anger that was coming up my throat. My eye stinged.

They were leaving me.

 Leaving me for their boyfriends. For the boyfriends who could dump them anytime. But still - still they chose him over me. 

Him over me

 It was not as if I hadn't got crushes on any boy in  Carsisle. In fact, I still remember my first crush. Blonde hair. Dimpled cheeks. We used to have long chats on Instagram. Then on the night of my asking him out, I got the news that he had passed away suddenly. Liver Cirrhosis. Last stage. Mum spent the next three days with me in my room because I didn't cry. I still remember the scene- me sitting there on the bed, numb... senseless. Not even a tear treackling down my cheek. 

I was 13. 

But I had many crushes after that one- many dashing heroes had left this vulnerable girl in splits and I had gone to extreme lengths to charm them like the fool I was. Actually the problem was not that I didn't have any crushes. I had crushes. Loads and loads of them. But if the person in front of you doesn't even reciprocate , how on earth would  the reaction occur?

But still they chose him over me. They chose their boyfriends over their best friend.  "Bestfriend" which I was not sure of anymore. I hated them. I hated Danny and Becca. 

I looked down at my lap. A war was  going on inside my head. Outside, the two had stopped talking to me and were instead talking to themselves in faint whispers. I smiled. 

This was it. 

They weren't taking me not because they cared about me. 

But I already knew that. So why was I smiling all of a sudden?
Was I going crazy?

"Why are you two still here?"

 For a second I wondered who had spoken. But then I found that it was my own voice . I looked up at them both, who were now looking at me with an expression of  utter bewilderment.
"Why don't you two leave? I want to stay alone. In any case, I'm gonna stay alone  throughout this Spring Break. I'll need some practicing, won't I?"

"Amy -"

"Didn't you hear me? Leave!!"

I was furious at them. How dare they ignore me? How dare they abandon me and leave with their boyfriends? How- Why did they do this to me?

Suddenly, I looked up, realisation striking me like  a thunderbolt.

" Because I'm still single." I cried out aloud, receiving  weird glances from the next table in the cafeteria.
"Hey, are you single? Wanna be double?" 

I got up from my seat and fired out of the cafe after throwing the speaker an outrageous glance.

But it was true. I was 17 but still didn't have a boyfriend. I studied in high school. It was high time for me to have a proper boyfriend. But the question was - how?? How was I  going to get a boyfriend when no boy was even interested in me. People were interested in Becca and Danny but not me. I wondered why. Was it because I was too skinny? It must be because I was too skinny.

I was drooling  down a dark alley , past  CafĂ©  de LattĂ©  and towards my house . Mum was not at home . I would get enough space to think about this there. But even as  I stepped into the vivid darkness of the alley, an idea struck me like a thunderbolt. In seconds, my eyes lit up with escasy and  I sprang up to my feet, running all the way home. I could not believe this.  It was a mad idea; I could get caught. I could be disgraced, but I had to do it no matter what. 

To save my self esteem. 

To save my self respect.

Matters  come and go and disappear beyond the horizon . Maybe this would be one of those matters- vanishing down the dark alley never to be found again.

 Who knew?

As I vanished amidst the dark lane, my brain kept wheezing with a new music.

A faint tinkering of bells.

Somebody dancing in the middle of the night, Cong bells fastened to her painted feet. 

Was I imagining things?

I squeezed hard at my left eye. In front of me, there stood a pitiful sight.A ragged mother sitting next to her child. The child was thin, sickly. Must've contracted Marasmus, looking at the state of the body. The scene was not new. It was  something you would see  one day in England and everyday in India. When I lived in India, we used to go to the slums for donation camps every year. It was a school programme. Every year, I tried my best to avoid the outing. Every year I had to go. And, every year, I cried when I came back home. 

How could Danny and Becca stop me from visiting my home country?

 I fired up into blank space making the mother look up and stare at me frightfully. "We live here Madam." she said pleadingly with such eloquence in her eyes that I moved away from there without saying anything. But enough was enough. I couldn't take it anymore.  Now, I had a plan and it was fool proof. All I needed was the courage to put it down. But that was the most dangerous task of all.

 How in the name of Merlin's most saggy pants was I going to act like I have a boyfriend when I didn't ?


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  • March 4, 2020 - 9:50pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Potatopleb

    The story intrigued me to read more, so great work on that! But maybe there could have been a little more going on in chapter one? I do like stories that start with a boom, so probably just a preference :)

    29 days ago
  • FoxLilly106

    This is the best thing ever! Please do continue! I'm intrigued!

    29 days ago