5teen. posts once in a blue moon
communist & survivor & latina & angry
Written By: elisa
February 29, 2020
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this is amazing. every time i read one of your pieces, i feel like i keep missing some large, overarching message, and the metaphor of the piece is just slipping over my head. nevertheless, i am star struck, and loving every bit of this complex word-spinning. the last stanza is especially perfect, and captured every once of my attention within its words. amazing job yet again <3
this is interesting and very abstract - it's evident you had a very clear image in your mind while writing this. i like the extended metaphor of the bird in the cave, highlighting the toxicity of the situation which the body knew but the mind may not have. i have only one criticism - i love you, don't take this too personally - but the third paragraph doesn't have as much poetic impact to me as the other four. i'm sure there's a metaphor or an analogy you're reaching for - maybe i'm not well-read enough to get it, but the message seems unclear and the content doesn't seem as introspective as the rest of the piece. nevertheless, this is an engaging and beautiful poem. glad you're writing again :)
This is amazing.
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