elisa

United States

5teen. posts once in a blue moon
communist & survivor & latina & angry

russian roulette

February 29, 2020

FREE WRITING

12
i ǝɯɐɔ, i saw - turned on my data.
pulled something out, fingers red with
beginning, from the sword in my endlessness.
took a photo, DISAPPEARING, locked the bathroom door.

down in the back of my throat, i felt
a little cave explorer sing. is it the man
or the canary? the canary pings like
bells, the man bangs on the inside of my stomach.

there was a window, a window, shutters
closed but the moon shone onto exposed skin.
the lighting was bad but i knew what an upper hand was
and how to keep it. fucking useless

in a few words, i sucked the marrow from his tongue.
spit it back out onto my heaving chest, 
wrapped my voice around wanting, danced
in the corners of existence

like a ballerina! בלרינה, bailarina, 
bent myself over the windowsill -
heard the eurasian skylark somewhere behind my spine
and drank up the dark night like vodka.

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3 Comments
  • babybluelamentations

    this is amazing. every time i read one of your pieces, i feel like i keep missing some large, overarching message, and the metaphor of the piece is just slipping over my head. nevertheless, i am star struck, and loving every bit of this complex word-spinning. the last stanza is especially perfect, and captured every once of my attention within its words. amazing job yet again <3


    9 months ago
  • Anha

    this is interesting and very abstract - it's evident you had a very clear image in your mind while writing this. i like the extended metaphor of the bird in the cave, highlighting the toxicity of the situation which the body knew but the mind may not have. i have only one criticism - i love you, don't take this too personally - but the third paragraph doesn't have as much poetic impact to me as the other four. i'm sure there's a metaphor or an analogy you're reaching for - maybe i'm not well-read enough to get it, but the message seems unclear and the content doesn't seem as introspective as the rest of the piece. nevertheless, this is an engaging and beautiful poem. glad you're writing again :)


    9 months ago
  • joella

    This is amazing.


    9 months ago