United States

she/her. 16, i write poetry
est. sometime in 2017
currently waiting for wtw's 3rd golden age

Message to Readers

Seriously I'm actually scared. It felt so removed from me for so long, but how dire the situation is just recently hit me. San Francisco is so close to my school, we have trains just outside the campus that take us there. It's only a matter of time for us now. Please stay safe everyone! Feedback is always appreciated. :)

another poem about the corona virus because i make too many jokes about it but i'm actually terrified

February 28, 2020


& san francisco has declared a state of
emergency. & in ap comp sci my teacher says, let’s practice, &
has us do the next class online. nobody pays attention but
it is a small price to pay, & today, my sister’s birthday, my mom avoids
the chinese bakery we always get our cakes from & we settle for
paris baguette. & claire’s relatives are in wuhan & one uncle
is a taxi driver & can’t stop working. & fashion designers in china are
not attending fashion week because their fabrics come from wuhan & 
the white lady at trader joes steps out of my line when i cough & i pretend
i don’t see her mouth asian to her husband. 
& my favorite drag queens wear face masks during their 
lipsync shows in asia & somehow that feels more real than the 
“when, not if” that my history teacher says/ or when my english teacher
rants that the school district is not prepared.

when nisha is not at school on tuesday i am worried. 
& it is flu season too but my mind ignores that & jumps straight to 
the worst. & i
can't help thinking 2020 was supposed to be
our year, & australia is burning & locusts are in biblical swarms
& kobe bryant hit us all so hard & somehow
i still manage to laugh when clea says, “we’re all gonna die.”


See History

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  • jaii

    it is honestly terrifying now. i live in seattle and there are people who've died in nursing homes here and my grandma is in a nursing home and honestly i'm just terrified. i always forced myself to laugh at the jokes but now everything is just... hollow.
    anywho, this poem is excellent and terrifying and absolutely beautiful

    10 months ago
  • Samina

    Honestly, I am too scared.My school has been closed since today. It gives me chills. All I wish is all remain safe.

    10 months ago
  • babybluelamentations

    im gonna be honest, im scared, too. although I live in cali, im closer to LA than to San Fran, so im pretty safe right now, but im really starting to feel the social impact, as you addressed in your piece.
    I won’t pretend to know how bad it is for anyone else, and i won’t pretend to know what it’s like to be in the middle of all of this, but here’s what I have to say.
    the reason this virus outbreak is so huge isn’t because it’s so bad, but rather that it’s challenging all of the plans that governments have set in place for national crises such as this one. everyone is panicking and jumping to segregation rather than dealing with this directly, through hospital funding and being cautious about their personal health. my cousin has been living in Shanghai for a couple years now, and she’s just lost her job and her way to come back to the states. my mom and I can’t go back to japan anymore, because we’ll get stuck in quarantine if we try to fly over from the states :( and you know what, im just really afraid for all of us in general, but im sure we’ll get through this, as us humans always have.
    jasmine, stay safe please, sweetie <3
    and to all of my fellow asian darlings, keep your heads up. stay strong, even as we lose our jobs and our connection to family members and our social standings. we’ll get through this. we have to.

    11 months ago
  • loveletterstosappho

    the coronavirus doesn't pose a direct threat where i live but all of my extended family lives in china and i've been worried like crazy about them because the hospitals where they live are shit. i had family friends who were back in china for lunar new year and were stuck there for a bit (thankfully, they're u.s. citizens and opted to return to the u.s. to be quarantined there instead) and i think realizing that this was happening to people i knew, that it wasn't some distant tragedy, amplified that anxiety. i, personally, can't stand coronavirus jokes but i can understand that some people use them to cope (though some are just being absolute bags of shit).
    at first i wanted to thank you for writing this, but i don't think you wrote it for other people. i think you wrote it for yourself, but thank you for sharing it. i hope that by sharing our experiences, asian diaspora across the world can form a connected support group to cope.
    please stay safe.

    11 months ago
  • joella

    @efflorescence couldn't have said it better

    11 months ago
  • efflorescence

    even though i can't personally relate to coronavirus-related discrimination, the last line really hit hard. i think it sums up our generation painfully well; we make dark-humored jokes and memes and tiktoks to cope with the seriousness of climate change, anxiety + depression, the coronavirus, etc.

    11 months ago
  • ajamwal

    you just put my thoughts into writing, how you do it, i don't know. i can't relate to the discrimination, like @anha said, but i admit i do connect with the part about how i joke about it even though i'm really scared. 'w'

    11 months ago
  • Anha

    i'm going to be honest, i hate all these comments that smile and say "relatable! relatable!" with plastic keyboards because no. you don't get it. you can't just see discrimination and say "i know what that feels like" because you don't. chinatowns are suffering because news outlets are using their photos for propaganda against asians. when i fell sick, the first thing my mother asked me was if any of my friends had been to china. (one had. and another girl in my classes.) it's different than terrifying. terrifying is screaming and panic; this is dread, waiting for the inevitable, hoping it's evitable but having nothing to change it because we're just the little people. (and i don't know about yours, but my government is fucking shit.) hoping you stay safe. we're with you. i think when you can't laugh anymore at "we're all gonna die" is when the world becomes a darker place.

    on a slightly lighter note, if your community is healthy and able-bodied, you should be fine. your bodies will fight it. take care of your elderly and young children. we'll get through this.

    11 months ago
  • WishfulKittyKat1

    Okay, I've officially fallen in love with your style. You hit all of the points of fear and sadness and a strange type of anger. Beautiful.

    11 months ago
  • aditi

    thank you for writing this! Totally relatable

    11 months ago
  • A Certain Type of Decisive

    Woah. This is terrifyingly relatable- great job!

    11 months ago