AcetheticallyPleasing

United States

Asexual || Dreamer || Hufflepuff
Hopeless romantic dreaming to find her true love
Songs || Stories || Poems
In love with two people, plus someone who can never be mine.

Message to Readers

My lily of the valley is wilting. I was the one to neglect them, but now I'll give them all the water and sunshine in the world.

A Good Girlfriend

February 24, 2020

FREE WRITING

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You are all I've ever wanted.
You're patient, understanding, kind, trusting.
You give me hugs when I need them and you let me vent to you no matter what may be happening in your own life.
You're adorable, from head to toe.
What you don't see in yourself, I see in you.
You've saved my life.
I'd be happy to be with you forever.
I love being wrapped in your arms.
I love playing with your hands and being dumb.
I love looking at you and knowing "they're mine."

You've been scared.
You think I'll leave you.
Because of what your body is unable to do.
Because you're not a boy like I've always dreamed of.
Because you love being near me and crave my attention.
Because I've finally found a place where people don't push me away or ignore me.
Because I have new friends.
Because you have no use to me anymore.

I've been blind.
All the times you fell quiet, I thought you were sleepy or bored.
All the times you've asked if I was mad at you, I responded shortly and quickly.
All the times you said you were fine, I believed you.
I should've known better.

I suffer the same way you do. 
I'm terrified of you leaving or befriending one of my friends so closely that I'm cut out of the equation.
I bottle up my feelings so you don't worry about me.
I think you're mad at me when you're a bit quieter than usual.
I'd lay down my life just for you to be happy.
You're everything to me and I'm losing hold of you.

And it's all my fault.
I've been ungrateful. 
I've been selfish.
I've been careless.

I'm so sorry. 
Nothing can ever explain how guilty I feel for letting this happen.
I can't make any more excuses.
I've been a bad girlfriend.
The last thing I want is to hurt you or make you unhappy.
That's not what a good girlfriend does.
I don't want to lose you.

A good girlfriend supports her lover.
She makes them laugh and lets them vent.
She helps them forget about everything bad that's happened to them.
She helps them focus on the bright potential in the future.
She spends time with them instead of neglecting them.
She picks up on the signs.
I'll be a good girlfriend.

I promise.
I'm so sorry, baby. I love you, even if I suck at showing it.

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  • February 24, 2020 - 10:06am (Now Viewing)

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