Jenneth LeeD

United States

Dyslexic who wants to make a mark in the YA book market. Christian. Conservative. Licensed geek and nerd. Also...now too old to continue accessing this site. If you want to keep up with me:
jennethdyck.wordpress.com

The Epic Quest of Tony Ryder in Prelude to the Terrible Tragedy Concerning the Fair Maiden with Giant Feet Partially Written in Latin

June 21, 2016


Scene I
(Scene opens with characters at a desk in a library. Sara spreads paper before her. Amy tilts her chair on two legs and engrosses herself in texting. Tony sits backwards in the chair with a blank sheet of paper.)
SARA:    Staring at the paper isn’t going to make words appear, Tony.
TONY:     I don’t know what to write.
SARA:     We’ve had three weeks to come up with something!
TONY:    I still don’t know what to write.
AMY:    I’m telling you we should write a love tragedy.
TONY:    (Raises an eyebrow) I’d rather write my own tragedy. Mine would be complete with gory torture and entrails staining the floor.
AMY:    You’re so gross! Why did I have to get stuck with you for this project?
SARA:    Because Parnes said so. And he also said that this play is due Friday! We haven’t even decided on a topic, and I’m not writing about Tony’s entrails!
AMY:    (dramatically) Five acts…Amelia dies in Joshua’s arms, who is too late to bring the antidote to her withering form!
TONY:    You just want to fantasize over yours and Josh’s relationship.
AMY:    And why would you think that?
SARA:    Amelia and Joshua? Perhaps? (Amy scowls) Besides, we don’t have time to do a five act play. Maybe we did when it was first assigned, but neither of you can agree on anything!
TONY:    “The Gory Tragedy of Tony Ryder.”
SARA:    No!
TONY:    “Tony Ryder’s Epic Quest to the Nearest Pizza Hut.”
SARA:    (reproving) Tony….
TONY:    I’ll even act. (Stands to leave. Sara grabs him.)
SARA:    Sit down! The library closes in thirty minutes, and we need you!
TONY:    I really think you don’t.
SARA:    Yes we do. Look: we can base our play off of Shakespeare. We could do a classic story of a power-hungry ruler. Or we could base it off Cyrano. Instead of a long nose we can make our character have big feet. Anything that could give us a template. We can even allude to other plays. I brought a Latin dictionary—
TONY:    You brought a what? I can barely use an English dictionary, for Pete’s sake!
AMY:    And big feet are not attractive. I want an attractive male.
TONY:    Oh, I bet you do….
SARA:    Focus, Tony!
TONY:    “Tony Ryder’s Epic Quest to the Nearest Pizza Hut.”
AMY:    (Looking up from her phone) I said attractive!
TONY:    Josh is not attractive.
AMY:    Yes he is! You’re a boy. How could you see beauty in men?
TONY:    He’s still not attractive….
SARA:    Both of you! Do we really care if Josh Rudd is attractive or not?
AMY:    (Looking at her phone) Josh thinks my idea is the best.
TONY:    You’re making that up. Josh has sports practice. He couldn’t be texting you.
AMY:    He’s on his water break. See? (Turns her phone to show Tony a photo.)
TONY:    He’s so lame. No true man sends his girlfriend selfies of him sweating at sports practice.
AMY:    It’s hot.
TONY:    It’s gross.
SARA:    Guys, please!
(There is a moment’s silence. Tony begins writing on his blank sheet of paper.)
SARA:    What are you doing?
TONY:    Writing the play. The library is closing soon. (Reading as he writes) Tony’s…stomach…beings…to…growl….
(Amy grabs the paper from him.)
AMY:    (scribbling underneath Tony’s work) Absolutely. No. Pizza!
(Tony stands to look at the page from upside down.)
TONY:    Hey! You can’t just kill me off! It’s only the first scene!
AMY:    I had to introduce the evil sorcerer that poisons Amelia. There had to be at least one casualty before things got rolling, and you fit the part.
TONY:    I do not!
(Amy ignores him and continues writing. Tony sits and broods. After a moment, Sara reads the work over Amy’s shoulder before snatching it away.)
SARA:    Amy! You can’t have them kissing!
(Sara adds her piece below Amy’s. She pauses to open the Latin dictionary.)
TONY:    No Latin! Please! I can’t read Latin! How am I supposed to know if you’re writing something embarrassing?
(Amy leans over to read Sara’s addition and shrieks.)
AMY:    No! No, no, no! You can’t give me giant feet! You just can’t!
TONY:    Ha! So your story is about you and Josh!
SARA:    The evil sorcerer’s potion just took effect. What are you supposed to expect from a classic drama? Things like these happen. Puella apud gigantem pede.
AMY:    Give it back!
(Sara stands up and stuffs the piece of paper into her bag.)
SARA:    Too late. The library is closing. See? (points off stage) They’re kicking everybody out.
TONY:    (Dejectedly) There goes my Writers’ Lab grade.

Scene II
(Characters walk into classroom arguing.)
AMY:    I can’t believe you turned in that piece of junk!
TONY:    I would have thought you of all people would've made it at least presentable!
SARA:    I’m so sorry. I was up till one in the morning studying for physics. By the time I went to bed I couldn’t string two words together. It’s terrible—we’re going to fail!
(Characters sit down at the desk, all staring fearfully at a folder on the surface.)
TONY:    That’s it. I saw Parnes grading them yesterday after school. That’s our fate.
SARA:    I can’t look at it. I should’ve fixed it.
AMY:    Well I can’t pick that trash up. It describes me with big feet. I would be mortified to see that in writing.
(Tony reaches for the paper and glances at the grade.)
TONY:    I don’t believe it!
SARA:    It’s an F, isn’t it? It’s an F!
TONY:    No, its…it’s a C plus!
AMY:    What? That can’t be our paper!
TONY:    (reading) An entertaining read. I can see all of your personalities combined into this one project. Next time try to be a little more fluid with the story and pay attention to formatting.
SARA:    A C plus will keep me on the honor roll. I was so sure I was off it completely!
TONY:    And a C plus will actually help my grade!
AMY:    It was that dramatic scene with Amelia and Joshua. That’s what saved it.
TONY:    Well, I don’t care what it was. I’m going to Pizza Hut. I need to celebrate.
A little background story: Tony Ryder is a main character in my current WIP who is featured in "The Creature House" on my profile. Amy and Sara (known as Shara in my book) are minor characters Tony goes to school with. It's very difficult coming up with a play that is within the word limit, tells a good story, and isn't cheesy. So what did I do? I came up with three characters diametrically opposite of each other and forced them to write it for me.

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