LUKE, 17, works at the Green Garden grocery store after school, introverted
ANDREA, 16, outgoing, “friend” of LUKE
BADGERLY, ?, ?
Setting: Present day, at the Green Garden grocery store, and then later at an unknown location
(Spotlight comes up on LUKE, standing alone center.)
LUKE: My mother always said that good things come to those who wait. But she never mentioned anything about them staying.
(Lights come up. There are a few shelves and displays with food and other typical store items. LUKE is sweeping the floor, wearing a tan apron over shorts and a t-shirt. ANDREA enters from L, wearing a tank top and khaki shorts, humming to herself, a messenger bag slung over one shoulder.)
ANDREA (waving her arms above her head): Hey, you!
(LUKE ignores her and continues sweeping the floor.)
ANDREA (waving her arms over her head): Hey, Buzzboy, hello!
LUKE (turns to her, weary; this exchange has clearly happened before): Please don't call me that.
ANDREA: Aw come on, it's just a fun little nickname, not an insult. You should know that by now.
(LUKE keeps sweeping)
ANDREA: Why weren't you in history today?
LUKE: Cas called in sick, boss said I could work his shift.
ANDREA: Never did take you as the rebel type.
LUKE: I'm not. Just need the hours more than I need Mr. Duncan’s lectures.
ANDREA: Trying to get yourself the new Gamebox Xtreme 180 or something?
LUKE: I don't have time for that crap.
LUKE (under his breath): Or yours.
ANDREA (oblivious): What was that?
LUKE (loudly): Nice weather we’re having today.
(LUKE sweeps the small pile of garbage into the dustpan)
ANDREA: Aw come on, surely you have something more exciting to talk about than that.
(Scene fades to black with a spot on Luke)
LUKE: Yea, I'm sure she's dying to hear about how my deadbeat father won't leave my overworked and underpaid mom alone, who to top it all might-
(LUKE stops, catching himself, and steps out of the spotlight. Lights come up again)
LUKE: I'm hear to work, not to chat.
ANDREA (pouting): Why do you have to be such a spoilsport?
ANDREA (pulling out some papers from her bag): Here, I brought you some notes from class.
LUKE (accepting them): Thanks, I guess.
(LUKE rolls up the papers and shoves them in his pocket and turns away, a clear signal that the conversation is over. ANDREA, however, does not take the hint.)
ANDREA: So I was thinking that maybe we could get together and study sometime, you know, before the big AP exam. You're good at remembering all those dates and names and I-
LUKE: I'm not taking the test.
ANDREA: B-but you're good at history, and you can get college credit and everything, at least if you do well, and-
LUKE (turns around to face her): Will you just shut up and leave me the hell alone?
ANDREA (hurt): But I'm your friend, I just want to help-
LUKE: Well you aren't, ok? I don't want your friendship, so you can stop trying so hard.
(LUKE picks up his dustpan, and begins to walk off R.)
ANDREA: I know about your mom, Luke. I'm so sorry
(LUKE slowly turns around)
LUKE: Get out. Get the hell out. I don't wanna hear it from you or anyone else.
ANDREA: I'm sorry, I was only trying to-
(At this moment, the lights flicker and rumbling noises begin. Both LUKE and ANDREA drop to the floor. The stage goes black, and the noises stop.)
(Slowly, the lights come up. The stage is bare except for LUKE and ANDREA. They look around in confusion.)
ANDREA: Wh-what's happening?
LUKE: My boss is gonna kill me if I don't get back to the store.
(LUKE gets up, brushes himself off, and starts heading off R.)
ANDREA: Wait, where are you going?
LUKE (not turning around): Away from here.
(BADGERLY, wearing a red waistcoat and trousers as well as a monocle, enters from L. ANDREA gasps and stares at him in shock, LUKE turns around at the noise and stumbles back in surprise.)
BADGERLY: I say, what have we here? Visitors, eh wot?
ANDREA (manages to find her voice): What-what are you?
BADGERLY: I believe you mean who, old gal. Badgerly Farnsworth, at your service.
(BADGERLY bows, and ANDREA slowly rises and mimics him. LUKE continues to stare.)
BADGERLY: Surely you've heard of the Farnsworth family. Finest in all the world. No? Not ringing any bells?
(Both ANDREA and LUKE shake their heads.)
BADGERLY: How extraordinary. Now, where did you two young people say you were from?
LUKE: Double Springs. It's in Alabama.
BADGERLY: But I have never heard of such a place. Fascinating. You must be from the West.
LUKE: The East, actually.
BADGERLY: My dear fellow, that is quite impossible. Have you lost your mind?
ANDREA (glaring at LUKE): That certainly seems to be a possibility.
BADGERLY: I really must insist you follow me, we’ll get this all sorted out with the council.
LUKE: The council?
BADGERLY: My goodness, come along quickly now. You poor children hit your heads rather hard, I'd expect.
LUKE: I'm not going anywhere with some humanoid white bunny creature. No offense.
BADGERLY (in shock): My dear sir, there is no need for such words. Where are your manners?
ANDREA (imitating BADGERLY): Yes indeed old chum, where have your manners gone? If you even had any to begin with.
LUKE (bowing slightly and insincerely): My humblest apologies.
BADGERLY: You are forgiven. Now, let us be off!
(BADGERLY skips off R while ANDREA and LUKE stare at each other in confusion.)
LUKE: So do we go with him or?
ANDREA: Oh excuse me, I was under the impression you never wanted to speak with me again.
LUKE (blustering): Listen, I-I didn't mean it like that, I just-
(ANDREA follows Badgerly off R, and LUKE stares after her. The lights dim as he stands there, undecided.)