Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
My favourite element of this piece was the paragraph focusing on the Toledo Zoo and the actions it has taken to be a sustainable business. I found this compelling because it was well written and engaging, and you backed it up with examples.
This piece speaks broadly about the impact of climate change, but also goes into detail about two projects taking place in your local area. You've done a great job of explaining what the Whirlpool factory and the Toledo Zoo are doing to reduce their environmental impact, but the stakes are a bit unclear. You could try and include more information on how climate change is impacting your area and the world in general, to provide context for these projects.
I enjoyed reading about the Whirlpool factory and the Toledo Zoo. You explained them well, and I think you provided enough detail for it to be intriguing, making me want to know more about these projects, but not confusing. Good job!
However, I would have liked to read more about why climate change is an issue for Findlay, since, like I mentioned above, it is a little unclear what the stakes are and why these projects matter. It doesn't have to be very in-depth or detailed, but I think that adding some information about the impact climate change is having on your life or the lives of others would provide some necessary context.
Other than that, the key points in this piece were well explained.
Your explanations of what's happening in your community to make a change were great! They were clear and provided good examples of how a company can become more environmentally friendly. If you can make the other parts of this piece just as informative and clear, it'll be amazing!
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece! It was informative and inspiring to see what people of Findlay are doing to help minimise their impact on the environment. With a bit of revision, I'm sure you can make this even better!