Peer Review by yapyapxy (Singapore)

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Taking Flight

By: Chloe_Cat


FREE WRITING

Her chest was heaving with labored breaths. Her heart pounded at an irregular beat.
Her feet thundered against the ground at a rapid pace. She was running. Away from life, away from responsibilities. It was like she could sprout wings and fly away at any moment. So this is what feeling free is. 


Message to Readers

This is a 53-word short story. Please comment and review. Have a nice day/night!


Peer Review

I really like the word "flight" and all its associations, so I was curious to see how the piece would develop. The ending was a pleasant surprise!


Where is this story set? What sort of responsibilities is she running from? Mostly, I'm curious as to why you chose the short story as the medium for your idea - perhaps you can look at Lydia Davis who writes a lot of flash fiction to get some inspiration if you're looking to challenge yourself in this genre. :)


Reviewer Comments

Hi Chloe_Cat! I hope you're keeping safe during these times.

First off, I wanted to applaud you for trying new genres! It can feel a little foreign and you might not be too familiar with some techniques, hence why I suggested some of Lydia Davis's works :)

For now, it seems like you're focusing a lot more on the narrator's experience and emotional journey of what it means to be "taking flight." That's totally fine, but I wonder if you've thought about weaving in other details or experiences about the narrator's backstory. This would clue the reader in on the stakes she's up against when she decides to up and leave, which would potentially make them feel more invested in why she would want to be free.

Other than that you're off to a good start ~

Happy writing and all the best!