asteria

United States

don't settle for the mundane;

chaos is far more intriguing.

Message to Readers

i'd love to get peer reviews/constructive criticism on this piece (or any of my others)
i always appreciate hearing your thoughts :)

iv. the brightest second

February 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

7

kissing you tastes
of the sweetness and
coolness of streams
in the spring.
as if all my worry & decay 
are rushing away
with the tide of
cool snow melt, replaced
with the budding green taste
of softness, and newness, and
two mouths freshly meshed.
 
~asteria

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  • February 22, 2020 - 2:29pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • asteria

    thanks for the comment!
    by the "my worry & decay / are rushing away" part, i mean that my misery and the parts of me that i see as rotten are washed away by this person, in the same way that the rot of winter and autumn before it are washed away by spring.
    hope this makes sense, and thanks so much for the question! i'm glad i could make you think :)


    7 months ago
  • Dmoral

    "kissing you tastes / of the sweetness and / coolness of streams / in the spring."
    that was quite literally refreshing. your metaphors were beautifully written throughout this piece. you do excel when it comes to short, but powerful pieces.
    i will say, in the lines "as if all my worry & decay " i was slightly confused with the "decay" part


    7 months ago