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Message to Readers

feedback about word choice

Summer Dance

February 1, 2020

PROMPT: Love After Love

When something is missing in your heart
So is the glint in your eye

Beleaguered by coldness in this hot summer 
I murmured to myself:
Who stole the colour of my life?

No iridescence, no mischievousness
Until she appeared
Plunging into a bottomless abyss
Until she arrived

Insecurity triggered up 
I was impelled to dance with this stranger
Her waltz, her ballet, her jazz
Everything seemed so familiar yet, untouchable ——
She spelled “deja vu” in my palm with soft, lovely dye

Stories still untold
A new form of love unfolds

She stopped and stared into me
Limpid look, open arms
To embrace the world or me?
Or both, with a whisper of “hi”

I wanted to dance with her into the summer 
still trembling, but ready to move on, 
to pick up what was glittering in my soul 
I raised my head and reached out a hand
She smiled 
The summer rays were special, warm and bright


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  • happy butterfly

    this is so so beautiful and unique,i love this piece.
    i would quote my favourite lines,but they all are,wow youre really talented<3

    9 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    And you've written a book? Tell me more about this! :D

    9 months ago
  • Starlitskies

    OMG!!!!! How does this only have one like!?!?!?! This is so beautiful. I love how you've maintained soft rhymes throughout the poem. "She spelled “deja vu” in my palm with soft, lovely dye" Like whaaaat? That is such a beautiful sentence! And the fourth stanza stole my heart whole! I think you've done splendidly with your word choice.
    Replying to all your sweet sweet comments: Tysm! It really means so much to me that you actually looked at my profile and read my work! And yes INTJ is rare, glad to meet you! <3<3

    9 months ago